


Frostbites, Bitch Slaps and Arctic Kisses

by Jaansche



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst to Fluff, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Finished story updates every Sunday, No Smut, Winter and winter and winter, advent story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-02 15:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16789963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaansche/pseuds/Jaansche
Summary: What do you do if the future love of your life seems to be an annoying woman with a questionable lifestyle?What do you do if your soulmate seems to be a judgemental, living on her high horse kind of woman?You hate each other.That’s right.That’s what you do… until hate isn’t quite what you would describe to feel for each other anymore.Join me in another advent adventure for 2018. Promised updates every Sunday.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya beautiful people all over the world,
> 
> welcome to my newest installment. I know it's not Sunday, but I'm being whisk away on a surprise birthday trip today and won't be home this Sunday. So, instead of making everyone wait for a few more days I'm posting early. (Did anyone try the 'post later' option? Does it work?) Surely, no one minds, or? Let me know in the comments. :)
> 
> Now, as usual, I hope you'll enjoy this little ficlet of mine and it'll sweeten your time until Christmas knocks you back with sentimental exclamations and too much food. 
> 
> Cheers, J

The first snowfall was still the most magical one to Lexa. It was the beginning of winter and she was just returning from yet another pre-seasonal training trip on the nearby 3000 m high Mount Weather. Lexa was a paramedic and joined the Search and Rescue Team of the region a few seasons ago. Besides her incredible abilities in skiing and boarding, she was the highest trained person in her unit with additional knowledge in rock and ice climbing, backcountry navigation, and survival; wisdom of having lived in the area for almost all her life.

She stepped off the cable car at the base station, waved to her colleagues and trudged slowly through the small streets of Polis, a village at the foot of the giant. The snow up the mountain was already stacking high and Lexa mused ski season would start earlier this year, but down in the valley it was the first visit of the cold guest. Although she adored the region all year round, winter season held her captive more than the others. She loved the stillness of the covered world, which only existed when the whiteness took over. Needless to say, Lexa loved the outdoors, cherished wildlife in general and was fascinated by anything provided by nature, including the magnificent, unique snowflakes currently wafting through the air, riding on the cold drift coming down from the mountain. She was very close to sticking out her tongue to taste them, when a yell disturbed the peace.

“Lex. You coming in or what?” She turned towards the voice and nodded, crossed the road and entered the bar through the door held open by her partner in crime and oldest friend Anya Rivers, who worked as a ski instructor in winter and a mountain guide for the rest of the year.

“Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses, I’m here now.” Lexa sighed and plopped down on an empty bar stool, slowly shedding her winter layers.

“Something wrong?” The dirty blonde asked pushing a steaming cup of tea towards the other woman.

“Nope.” Lexa smiled softly in lieu of a thank you. “Just enjoying how quiet it is at the moment.”

“That’ll change soon.”

“Any dates yet?”

“They’re talking next week.” Anya eyed her knowingly.

“Great.” Lexa mumbled. Although she could talk endlessly about the things she loved around Mount Weather, there was one thing Lexa hated passionately – the carelessness and willingness to take risks of the majority of guests when it came to winter sports.

“Well, it’ll have its perks.” The dirty-blonde smiled.

“Such as?” Lexa asked and wished she hadn’t the second the smile morphed into a naughty grin.

“The three musketeers will be here soon and I know you’re eager to see **her**.”

The stressing of the last word made Lexa roll her eyes and groan out exasperatedly before she let her head fall onto the bar. “She’s still doing this?” She murmured into her oversized jumper.

“As far as I’m aware.” Anya shrugged.

“Are you in contact with them?” Lexa lifted her head and glared at her accusingly.

“I might have been messaging with Raven…” Anya trailed off and jumped out of her friend’s reach, who was trying to hit her shoulder.

“Traitor.” Lexa growled, but stopped her attempts to shove the other.

“For what?” Anya settled back onto her chair with a big grin.

“We hate them!” The brunette burst out.

Anya shook her head vigorously. “No yo mi amigo, only you hate them!” She pointed at Lexa with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t you think it’s time for a truce?”

Lexa opened her mouth, but snapped it shut a second later. It was true, she’d expressed a deep-rooted antipathy for all three women, but she couldn’t understand why, all of a sudden, she was the only one. “They’re making everything so much more complicated.” She complained after a moment of contemplating her next words. “They make my life so much more complicated.” She clarified with finality in her voice.

“If not for them, someone else would do the job. At least they’re fun to be around. You should try to transform your far away pining into an actual conversation with her this season.” Anya laughed out loud.

“I’m not pining for Clarke fucking Griffin.” Lexa huffed out and rolled her eyes at the same time watching Anya’s sceptical face. “She’s a nightmare of each rescuer in the region.” She added with annoyance.

“Nightmare is probably the antonym of what’s on every rescuer’s mind.”

“Anya please.” Lexa scoffed. “She’s a half-naked, obnoxiously loud, overly cheerful bartender in an icy igloo-bar on top of a mountain. She flirts with everything that is of human shape and consequentially endangers everyone up there. Including my team for when we have to come and get her drunken patrons’ asses down the mountain.”

“Oh my.” Anya wiggled her eyebrows playfully. “Frustrated much?” When Lexa just silently continued to sip her tea, she went on. “Are your AA batteries not as long lasting as they used to be?”

“What?” The brunette finally reacted, coughing up the tea she had just swallowed and glared angrily at her friend. “This is…” She stopped and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand whilst shaking her head in disbelief. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Yeah, cos it’s true. You’ve got the hots for her -”

“Do not.” She interrupted, looking around checking whether any of the other people in the bar were paying attention to them or their subject of discussion.

“You’ve got the hots for Clarke…” Anya purposefully clarified her words with a smile. “But you hide behind your incredibly dim-witted prejudices to not give in, because you think she’ll hurt you. You know I'm right. You know I know you.”

“This is stupid.” Lexa stood up.

“You’re a moron for not talking to her -” Anya pointed out stopping the woman with a hand on her arm from leaving.

“I did talk to her. More than once and she’s all flirt and no brain.” Lexa hissed hating every word of their conversation. It was an annual thing for the two of them and before last year Anya was all for the hating, until she started spending time with the three. Lexa still resented her friend for that. It was also around that time the dirty-blonde started suspecting more behind Lexa's animosity towards the others. Especially Clarke. Foremost Clarke. Always Clarke.

“… Talking to her like a normal human being and not yell or growl or snarl at her.” Anya finished her sentence with a pointed glare.

“They're the reason why so many stay until closing hours and then try to get down the slopes drunken and tired. I wish I could get them to stop, but she’s ignoring all of my requests.”

“It’s not up to her or Raven or Octavia to decide to stop. They’re hired by Mount Weather Corp to entertain. It’s their job, Lexa. You’re barking up the wrong fucking tree instead of scratching your itch.”

“I don’t have any itches to scratch.” Lexa huffed quietly, embarrassment evident in her posture.

“Yeah right.” Anya laughed shortly, before sobering up. “Let them do their job and focus on your own.” She said with finality. “If you send a letter to the big bosses you might regret it when they lose their jobs. Part of the success of the season and your generous salary are the services provided by them and so many others.”

“So? I’m sure as a stripping bartender you easily find a new place of employment.”

“A what?” It was Anya’s turn to look like a deer caught in headlights. “No one’s stripping.” She defended, shaking her head. She looked at her friend and narrowed her eyes. “Have you actually bothered to visit the igloo?”

Lexa shook her head. “Well first of all there aren’t many clothes to take off to start with anyway and secondly, I’ve been always way too busy to collect their victims and help them down the mountain.” She stated angrily.

“Do us all a favour and educate yourself.” Anya stood up, left some money on the bar and turned once more to Lexa, waiting until she had her undivided focus. “You think you know it all? Well, newsflash Woods, the world isn’t black and white and grey comes in more than 50 shades.”

# ~~~

“Home sweet home.” Clarke exhaustedly breathed out and flopped down onto the carpet covered floor of the chalet they always occupied whilst being in Polis.

“Griffin get up. You’re blocking the entrance.”

“Nope.” She shook her head and spread her extremities like a star fish. “I’m not gonna move till much later.”

“Fine.” Raven shrugged and stepped over her friend making sure to get as much wet snow onto her as possible.

“Ray!” The blonde complained loudly. “That wasn’t needed.” She pouted and finally stood up. “You’re such a bitch when you haven’t eaten.”

“I’m hangry. Fuck off.”

“You know how she is.” A familiar voice laughed from the doorway and the two women looked over.

“Anya!” Both exclaimed happily at the same time.

“Hey there losers.” The addressed swaggered into the house and leaned against the nearby wall crossing her arms. Raven looked at her from the kitchen a few feet away, smiles growing gradually on both women’s faces.

“Right, I’m out of here.” Clarke stated awkwardly witnessing the staring contest between her friend and newcomer. “Where’s O?” When she didn’t receive an answer, she nodded to herself, grabbed the keys and pushed past Anya to leave. She closed the door and stopped for a moment to button up her jacket to keep warm against the bitter cold that was a constant resident in the village during the winter months. She already loathed the days she had to work, knowing it would take hours to get warm afterwards.

“If I were you I wouldn’t go in there right now.” She stopped Octavia in her attempt to enter the cabin.

“Huh? Why? Where’re you going?”

“Anya showed up.”

“Already?”

“Yup and I’m going to get groceries. Fancy joining me?”

Octavia immediately dropped the ski-gear she had carried and followed Clarke who had already started walking down the little slope into the village centre.

“How come she knew we’re already here?”

“I think Ray might have messaged her a few days ago.”

“God, she’s so needy.” The brunette grinned whilst shaking her head.

“Well, who isn’t?” Clarke laughed and winked.

“True that. So…” Octavia trailed off with a pointed look on her face.

“Not gonna talk about her.” The blonde uttered, blushing at the mere thought of a certain someone.

“I wouldn’t have thought you’d be interested in talking at all.”

“Stop it O, please.”

“Ok, but don’t you want to at least try? It’s been three years of you guys either yelling or mentally stripping each other whenever your paths cross. To be honest, if someone googles the term 'eye-fucking' a picture of you two should pop up.”

“Haha, you're so funny. Not.” Clarke huffed embarrassed. “Besides, Lexa made it quite obvious, she’s not interested in any form of communication.” She pressed through her clenched jaw. “Verbal or non-verbal.” She added a moment later in a disappointed mumble. She had been intrigued by the brunette beauty the minute she’d laid her eyes on her, but the next second had popped the bubble when said woman had stormed over and ordered them to stop serving alcohol to already drunk people. “She hates me.” She finally settled on with a shrug of acceptance.

“Her actions might be debatable, but she’s into you. Maybe you guys need to actually talk?”

“What do you mean with she’s into me?” Clarke made quotation marks around Octavia’s words, staring at her questioningly. “The last time I had the pleasure of being in the same room with Lexa Woods was when she accused me of ‘slutting it up’ and endangering innocent people. Where, dear oracle, do you get your intel from?”

“Wow.” Octavia grinned. “Did she say that?”

“Yes… well not in those words, but indirectly I’m sure she meant it that way.” Clarke sighed. “I don’t understand where she has that idea from. I would never be with patrons privately, full stop.”

“No offence Griffin, but people flock to the igloo to see you.”

“To see us.” She corrected the brunette with an eyeroll. “If I could stop working here I would, but I need the money and you know that. I’m not going to apologise for what I have to do to afford my dream. Besides, dancing keeps me warm in that freaking cold dome.”

“Well I know that, Ray knows that, but Lexa doesn’t. Again, you guys need to talk.” Octavia didn't disguise the fact, that she was bored by the subject. She sounded like a broken record having repeated the words more often than she can count.

They reached the small grocery store and stepped inside, visibly shaking at the temperature change before grabbing a small basket.

“I’m not even sure I want anything from her anymore. Like you said, it’s been three years. I should move on.” Clarke mumbled insecurely.

“Move on from nothing should be easy.” Octavia nodded dropping a box of peppermint tea into the basket.

“Not if the nothing is as stunningly beautiful as…”

They moved along the next aisle when Clarke stopped mid-sentence, eyes glued straight ahead.

“Clarke?” Octavia asked, having been loading the basket with pasta. Upon no reaction, she looked up to check what was captivating her friend. “Ah, Lexa Woods.” She finished Clarke’s sentence and grinned.

“Fuck my life.” The blonde talked under her breath but couldn’t take her eyes off of Lexa who stood two aisles further away, chatting with an elderly woman.

“You’d rather fuck **her** by the look on your face.” Octavia snickered. “So much for moving on.” She added after a moment and poked her elbow into Clarke’s side to get her to stop staring.

“Ouch!” She returned to reality, blushing harder than ever and glared at her friend. “That hurt.” She hissed, but grasped the basket more tightly in her hand, squared back her shoulders and looked up and right into the emerald-green of Lexa’s eyes, which were wide in surprise and something else she couldn’t quite identify from the distance. Clarke awkwardly lifted her empty hand in a greeting and smiled at the women a few feet away, but dropped her arm quickly at the scowl on the younger one's face. Her angry frown wiped off the blonde’s smile in seconds.

“What the hell have I done to her to earn being hated so much?” She pressed through her clenched jaw and followed Octavia along the row of groceries with her eyes fixed onto the floor.

“It’s probably the lack of doing things to her which has her panties in a twist.” Octavia mused absentmindedly, studying the content of the ready-made pasta sauce.

“You’re seeing things.” Clarke shook her head and glanced back at Lexa who had returned to her conversation. “She’s angry at me for whatever. She’s not interested in anything but settling the score.”

“I’m sure she’d like to score at one point.”

“What the hell Octavia?” Clarke exclaimed, bridging her nose with two fingers. “Why can’t I have a normal conversation with either of you guys? Ray is just as awful.”

“Because,” the smaller woman turned to face her frustrated friend, “you’re obvious and she’s obvious, but both of you have decided to be oblivious.” She voiced her explanation with an impressive snarl to her voice.

“Are you mad at me now too?” The blonde looked at her in confusion.

“Mad? No.” Octavia shook her head. “Tired of? Yeah.” She added with an exhausted expression. “You guys are too much.”

They looked at each other for a moment, before Clarke stomped her foot, turned around and left the store, throwing “that’s just fucking great” over her shoulder. Octavia watched her with a knowing frown, but continued the shopping nevertheless, entering the next aisle with the two women they’ve seen earlier.

“Good afternoon Mrs Moore.” She greeted loudly with a big smile. “And yeah, hi Lexa.” She added dismissively a second later.

“Hello Octavia. Oh it’s so nice to see you’re back.” The older woman smiled, clasping her withered, warm hands around the small brunette’s when Lexa nodded to Octavia in her usual stoic greeting. “Was that Clarke with you? She’s always so sweet with me.”

“Yes Mrs Moore. I’m sure she’ll stop by soon and keep you some company as usual. She’s in a bit of a bad mood at the moment.” Octavia explained slowly, watching Lexa out of the corner of her eyes.

“Oh no. I hope she’ll be ok. I could really use her help.” Mrs Moore exclaimed worriedly.

Lexa’s eyes wandered through the store searching for the blonde, before turning back to follow the conversation, but not understanding what’s being said. “Help? If you need someone…” She trailed off waiting for more details. Her intentions clear in her suggestion.

“Oh no dear. It’s kind of you to offer but I’m sure you’re not suited to help me.”

It was written all over Lexa’s face that she doubted Clarke had anything to offer she couldn’t. “Um, why?”

“Clarke is helping me with my memories.” The old woman whispered conspiratorially.

“Your memories?” Lexa asked, gaze flickering from Octavia to Mrs Moore and back.

“I’ve seen so many things in my life, though I have nothing but the memories in my head. Clarke’s helping me visualising my past.”

“How?” Lexa was truly flabbergasted. First of all she never would have thought Clarke was someone who would help others, least the older generation. Secondly, it seemed the blonde had more up her sleeve besides flirting nonstop and serving drinks along with peeks down her cleavage and whatever else she was up to.

“She’s painting for me.”

“She’s painting for you?”

“She’s painting for her.” Octavia repeated as well grinning wickedly, amused by Lexa’s facial lapse.

“I didn’t know.” Lexa managed after a moment in a quiet voice.

“Oh dear, you needn’t knowing.” The older woman supportively stroke Lexa’s upper arm a few times.

“No Mrs Moore,” Octavia offered with a biting smile. “Lexa meant this in a different way. You might just have helped her learning to never judge a book by its cover.” She challenged with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh that’s good.” The oblivious elderly smiled. “Now, if you excuse me, I need to finish my shopping.”

“Do you need help?” Lexa and Octavia asked at the same time, baffling the taller brunette once more. ‘How come such simple, party-crazy, not caring for the world women could be more than that?’ Lexa huffed at her own disability to understand what was happening. She thought she knew all there was to know about them. About Clarke. It seems she was wrong and it was starting to grate on her.

“I’m doing the grocery run anyway, I’ll help you.” Octavia added a second later and offered her arm for support.

“Thank you dear.” She looped her arm through the presented nook. “Oh Lexa, have a nice day.”

“Yeah sure…” Lexa smiled and lifted her hand. “No problem.” She said quietly, watching the two disappear behind a stack of toilet paper. She only lowered her arm when she felt her mobile vibrating. “Hello?” She distractedly answered the call and received laughter instead of a greeting.

“Hello?” The voice mimicked. “Who are you and what happened to my friend?”

“Anya...” She drawled lowly. “Not funny.” Lexa huffed whilst passing the cashier with a wave.

“Well, well. You normally sound more commandeering than muddled when you pick up the phone and having witnessed a certain blonde storming back in a foul mood makes me think you guys have seen each other.” Anya teased.

“And the reason for your call…?” Lexa stepped out of the store and inhaled the cold air.

“What happened this time?”

“None of your business and what do you mean with ‘witnessed’? Are you at their house?”

“I was.” The answer came warily.

“Raven.” Lexa sighed and crossed the road.

It was meant a statement rather than question, but Anya confirmed needlessly. “Indeed.”

“Fucking hell. Your hormones are demanding.” Lexa laughed out loud.

“So were yours if you’d let them. Anyway, what happened?” Anya repeated curiously.

“Tell you when I get home. I need some time to think.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Asshat.” She snapped and disconnected the call a second later. She needed to work through the various contradicting feelings inside of her after learning those new things about Clarke. There was anger versus admiration, ignorance versus interest and loathing versus liking. She closed her eyes for a moment and simply breathed in and out, before turning to walk along the sidewalk towards the exit of the village and the beginning of rough mountain terrain.

# ~~~

“Do I have to stalk her down and hurt her?” Raven asked carefully, joining her friend on the couch.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cut your ‘welcome back celebrations’ short.” Clarke answered instead ignoring Raven's words.

“Nah, all good princess. Nothing I can’t get any time.”

“Uggh, you’re awful.”

“What happened?” Raven poked her playfully.

“She still hates me.”

The brunette didn’t need more intel to know who they were talking about. “Right… you sound surprised.”

Clarke shook her head. “Here’s the thing. I simply don’t know what the hell I’ve done to deserve such deep-rooted hatred. If I knew, I could apologise or, you know, rectify it maybe, but I… I. Simply. Don’t. Know.”

“Anya and I were thinking to lock you both in a room until you talk it out, but-”

“You and Anya talk about us?” Clarke deadpanned with a smirk, temporarily forgetting her misery.

“Contrary to the public opinion, we do actually talk as well.” Raven winked unfazed by the interruption.

Clarke grimaced at the statement, but sobered quickly. “I don’t think confining her in a room is a good idea. She’s like a feral animal. I might get hurt.”

“More than you already are.” Raven agreed sombrely.

“Yeah.” Clarke lowered her head in defeat. “Nevermind, I’m stupid for hoping.”

“Want me to talk to Lexa?”

“No.” Clarke quickly looked up with a determined stare. “Don’t get involved. This isn’t high school. I get over it.”

“It’s affecting you, and Octavia and I worry.”

“Octavia made it quite clear that she’s done bothering.”

“Don’t Clarke. Don’t let the unresolved problem between you and Lexa come between us. We are your friends and so is Anya.”

“What has Anya told you?”

“Nothing really. She doesn’t want to come between us and Lexa either. She’s just tired of the tension.”

“That’s exactly what O said.” Clarke sighed at the same time the front door opened and the small brunette pushed through with two bags of groceries.

“What did I say?”

“That you’re tired of me.” The blonde offered quickly and Octavia rolled her eyes.

“No, I didn’t mean you as a person. I’m exhausted of the fight between you guys.” She corrected her friend. “I’m never tired of you dummy. I love you.” She added and hugged the woman pulling her up from the couch and towards the kitchen. “Who else said they were tired of this?”

They joined in and helped unpacking and storing the food, whilst telling Octavia what Anya had said when Clarke’s phone rang.

“It’s Wallace.” She informed the other two before picking it up, putting the call on speaker. “Good day Sir.” She greeted politely.

“Ms Griffin. This is Cage Wallace… I assume you and your colleagues are ready for the job as usual?” He probed.

“Yes, all three of us arrived this afternoon. We’ve been told season will start in a few days.”

“Opening is in two days, but I need you up there as soon as possible. The igloo is bigger than the last years and I want more people to leave their money with you. Get it?”

“Sir, with all due respect.” Clarke started. “We already have trouble with the resident authorities in regards of the safety of our guests -”

“I’ve been told about the local guard dog.” He laughed dismissively. “There’s nothing she can do. Inform the police if she’s harassing you or the other girls.”

“But -”

“Griffin!” He called out and she snapped her mouth shut. “Just do your job and leave the rest to me. Am I making myself clear?”

Clarke clenched her jaw violently, Raven pretended to kill him and Octavia shook her head in disbelief. “Crystal.” She finally managed through her locked teeth.

“Great. Get up there first thing tomorrow to set everything ready and get used to the layout.”

“Yes.” Clarke replied shortly. “Anything else?”

“Make me rich.” Without further nothings the call was disconnected and left the three women steaming angrily in their temporary home.

“What the fuck?”

“Shit!”

“I fucking hate this job!”

# ~~~

“So... Ready for business?” Anya and Lexa were on their way up in the small four people cabin.

“Born ready.”

“Someone is unnaturally chipper this morning. Slept well?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I did.” Lexa confirmed. She had taken a long walk the day before and came to the conclusion that she would not think about anything related to the infuriating blonde and just bury any lingering, confusing feeling in the deepest mental box she could find in her head. By the time she’d arrived back at her home, Anya had been out again and she’d enjoyed a quiet evening on her own. The fact that her friend had not had the time to interrogate her about her run in just added to her positive attitude.

“Good. Good.” Anya nodded. She had met up with Raven once more last night and learned what had happened as she had left as soon as Clarke had stormed back into the cabin. Instead of ruining Lexa's mood by talking about the bartender, she decided to voice the other elephant in the room. “So I talked to Murphy this morning and he told me that they had to build a bigger igloo bar per request of Mount Weather Corp.” She said carefully.

“What? How big are we talking?” Lexa asked surprised.

“Almost double the usual size.”

“You’re kidding. Please tell me you’re joking An.” The brunette stared at her friend incredulously.

“Unfortunately not. Look!” She pointed to the white dome in the distance.

“They can’t be serious. That’ll house double the amount of people.” Lexa exclaimed with her hands wildly gesticulating. “Double the amount of drunken people.” She added almost like an afterthought with horror in her eyes.

“I heard that's the plan. They want more money. Change in ownership or something.”

“I’ll talk to Sheriff Kane about this. We need to get the police involved. I won’t stand by and watch this disaster unfold.”

“He can’t do anything about it Lex.”

“It’s prohibited to drive under the influence.”

“Yeah well, unless someone tries to get down the hill with a car there’s nothing anyone can do.” Anya pointed out.

“I will not watch.” Lexa repeated angrily clenching and unclenching her hands into fists.

They sat in silence for a few breaths until Anya calmly put her hand on Lexa’s knee. “Do me one favour though. Don’t go blowing up into Clarke’s face.”

“What? Why would you bring **her** up now?” Lexa ground her jaw forcefully at the change of subject. So much about mental compartmentalization. The box has just been automatically transported back from the depth of her mind to the forefront of her conscience waiting to be opened and thoroughly inspected.

“Because she’s always the one who channels your anger and she’s not even the one in charge.” They arrived on top and exited the small cabin.

“She’s just as guilty.” Lexa stomped off desperately trying to ignore the storm of emotions creating havoc inside her. 'Not dealing with it,' she kept repeating like a mantra.

“It’s her job.” Anya called after her and jogged a few feet to keep up with her friend.

“She could do anything.” Deflecting. Handing the guilt and responsibility to someone else. Lexa had her very own coping mechanisms.

“Maybe she can’t.” Anya offered experimentally.

“Maybe she simply doesn’t want to because she loves it so much? I mean, being wanted by literally everyone must feel fucking amazing.” Lexa said distractedly, eyes focused on a snow mobile parked at the side of the cable car station.

“Everyone?” Anya smirked. “Did you actually finally confirm you want her?”

Lexa froze in her exploration and slowly straightened up from her crouched position, facing her friend. “I wasn’t talking about me.” Annoyed green eyes stared provokingly.

“Sure, you weren’t.” Anya smirked unconvinced and instead of dropping the matter she poked the bear a little more. “So, you’re not included in ‘everyone’?” She emphasized laughingly.

Any other time, the ski instructor would have expected a huff and puff kind of answer combined with the signature stalking off, but this time all she got was a drawled “Anyaaa…” and a friendly shove.

“Lexaaaaaaaaaa…” She imitated childishly and pushed her back.

“You suck.” Lexa wanted to stay annoyed but couldn’t help the grin forming on her face. She allowed herself the slip-up and acknowledged Anya's suspicion by not denying them. They all but sobered up when Anya stage-whispered all of a sudden, “Be nice. They’re coming.”

Lexa’s head whipped around quickly and she watched Raven, Octavia and Clarke arriving at the top of the mountain. They climbed out of their cabin and walked towards them as they were stood outside the glass sliding doors of the exit.

“Ladies?” Anya called out with a wave when the door opened and they stepped out into the cold.

“Hi there.” Raven stopped and Clarke walked into her. She had been transfixed by seeing Lexa smiling a second ago.

“Ray.” She hissed.

“Watch where you’re going.” The snarky brunette whirled around to face her clumsy friend.

“So, you’re setting up the madhouse?” Anya asked curiously watching the interaction between the two friends whilst Octavia had walked off to talk to the new guy in charge of the cable car. Clarke pushed past Raven and left the group behind, trudging through the loose snow gaze fixed on the slippery ground.

“Yeah. Been told to be ready for tomorrow.” Raven turned back to face the two.

“Will you be able to set up everything in that short time?” Anya asked with a frown. “It’s bigger.”

“That came as a surprise as well.” Raven sighed. “I don’t know. We’ve been arguing all night over how to handle it. Mind you, it's almost double in size, but we didn't get more people to man the bar.”

“Don’t think they’d employ man.” Anya joked, but quickly added. “You need help?” She gestured between herself and Lexa.

“No thanks.” Raven studied Lexa who was still watching Clarke walking off for a moment before she declined the offer with a smile. “We need peeps not pricks.”

Lexa's neutral expression changed into a mask of indifference at hearing the insult. She shrugged and focused back on Raven. “I don’t have time anyway. I'm sure to check all the rescue equipment on its readiness for use as it will be needed significantly more.”

“Noted.” Raven shrugged and turned to face Anya. “I’m sure we’ll cope. Somehow. Always have found a way.”

“Call me if you need me?” Anya asked stepping closer to her.

“Will do.” Raven assured and gave her quick peck on the lips before turning and following Clarke, grabbing Octavia on her way over.

Anya watched them leave for a moment, before turning to her friend and slapping her shoulder. “Was that really necessary?”

“She started it!” Lexa brushed her off and caressed her arm.

“You're insufferable! I told you it's not their fault. You could have swallowed your ego and offered your help?”

“Obviously Raven didn’t want me there.” Lexa knew she sounded immature, but she couldn't care less. The prospect of being around them just brought these responses out of her.

“Yeah, because whenever you and Clarke are in one room it’s suffocating.” Anya rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Please talk to her.” She tried once more.

“About what?” Lexa played with the cord on her thick jacket.

“For fuck’s sake. Your feelings?”

They eyed each other, one warily the other with an obvious ‘I’m so done with this shit’ face.

Lexa struggled to remain unaffected by their conversation, but the box in her head had just sprang open and all emotions spilled out for her to chew and choke on. “It’s too late for that…” She settled on admitting after another second. The moment the blonde had come into view mere minutes ago, Lexa first thought had been that Clarke had looked exhausted. 'Why couldn’t she do something else for a living,' the mountain rescuer thought for the millionth time. 'Something safer, healthier, more covered.' She bit her lip, sighed and started to walk towards their offices.

“Never too late to tell someone you’re in love with them.” Anya said quietly and followed.

Lexa stopped abruptly and wheeled around. “I’m not -”

The other didn't let her finish though. “Don’t even try, buddy.” She interrupted and glared at the smaller woman. “I’m done explaining you to you.” The stare off lasted a moment, before Lexa shook her head and walked away with a murderous glare over her shoulder.

# ~~~

By the time Raven and Octavia entered the igloo, Clarke had started unwrapping glasses and stacking them on ice shelves behind her.

“So… we can’t change the fact that for the next couple of months we’re stuck here.” Raven started the unfinished conversation of their previous evening. “We’re totally understaffed for the size of the location.” Clarke and Octavia looked at her nodding along to the truth. “There’s no sense in arguing with each other and making our life’s even more miserable than it already is.” She finished and closed the distance to her friends in a three-way hug. “Especially Clarke’s.” She added in a low voice.

“Why me?” The blonde pushed out of the various arms encircling her body. “We’re all in the same boat.”

“Except you have additional ballast.” Octavia pointed out, hands on her hips. “Unnecessary one I‘d like to see you getting rid of.”

“Work will help.” Clarke said darkly, trying to convince her friends and herself. “We’ll be so busy I won’t have time to think.”

The three exchanged a strained smile and went back to their tasks at hand. In less than 24 hours they would have hell in here and they needed every second to get prepared.

Unsurprisingly to any of them, Clarke had been right. In the end they were so busy that the final day of organising everything ran into opening day and they hadn’t had a chance to breathe once. Overnight, people came flocking into Polis after the tourism office had officially announced the winter season started.


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They need to hit rock bottom before it get's any better...

# ~ Part II ~

The first days of winter season were usually chaotic and Lexa didn’t expect anything less, but reality left her empty and exhausted. Just the first day alone she had been called up the mountain three times in the morning, because guests had overestimated their abilities and hurt themselves to a degree that she had to transport them down the mountain and bring them to the local surgery. After the initial starting day, they quickly had to create additional slopes as the number of tourists demanded more and more. She had assigned teams to tackle the amount of work, but ended up checking every single additional slope for its safety as the area was prone to avalanches. She hated endangering herself but the thought of putting innocent people in danger kept her going beyond exhaustion. Finally, to top it all off, she had thrown her frustration over the additional work once more into Clarke’s face. The blonde had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. She silently scolded herself for that, but hadn't had any breathing space to right her wrong-doing yet.

It was Saturday evening and Lexa sighed when she finally stepped into the pub and spotted Anya at the bar waving at her pointing to a beer.

“Damn, I hate sharing this place with tourists.” She complained when she reached her friend. She inhaled half of her beer before she even sat down.

“Well, I would have thought you’d prefer them drinking in the village than up the mountain.” Anya pointed out.

“Not what I meant, but true.”

“So? What was it this time?”

“What?” She faked oblivion thinking hard how to get out of the coming reprimand, knowing by the expression on her friend’s face what was likely coming her way.

“The blow up, Lex. Raven told me.”

The brunette casted a quick glance at her friend before dropping her eyes down onto the bar top, lifting her beer to her lips. “I... Icalledherasimplemindedfloosy.” Lexa mumbled into the bottleneck before taking a sip.

“You called her a what?”

“A simple-minded floosy.” She repeated and winced at her own choice of words. “I was already pissed off because people kept ignoring me and I needed them to move out of the way. Instead of helping me getting my point across, I then witnessed a dude pushing money into Clarke’s cleavage after she had suggestively winked at him when handing out the drink and in return she had blown him a kiss.” Lexa rambled on and on.

“Classic.” Anya laughed. “And so, so jealous.” She added with a smirk.

Lexa’s eyes flickered from her beer back to her friend with an outraged expression on her face. “I’m not jealous. It just drives me crazy to watch her.” The moment the words left her mouth she regretted saying them. Anya was like a dog with a bone and she just threw her one.

“Because you liked what you see?” The other laughed out loudly.

“No…” Lexa blushed, scolding herself for her choice of words. She’d never admit to anyone, least of all herself that she did enjoy the display until greedy man hands came in close contact to Clarke’s skin. “It just would have been amazing if, for once, she could have used her position as the centre of attention to help do something responsible, instead of using her female wiles to get them to drink more without shame in taking their money.” She evaded from the real reason of her frustration.

“It’s her job.” Anya sighed. It’s pointless to discuss this issue. They’ve been over the fact uncountable times and they both knew, it’s not solely about that anymore.

“Well, apparently she’s good at painting.” Lexa suddenly remembered the conversation with Mrs Moore. “She could do something along those lines instead of bartending naked on top of a fucking mountain. I mean look at her.” Lexa paused to suck in a breath. It had irritated her to learn that there was more to Clarke Griffin and she still decided to do **that** for a living. It angered Lexa to witness such a beautiful woman selling herself short. “I mean…” She quickly licked her lips and sat up straighter, the corners of her mouth lifting for a small fraction. “She could literally do anything.” Lexa’s small smile turned sour. “Anything Anya, but no she has to come here and flaunt her tits and whatnot into guys’ faces, sell vast quantities of alcohol and doesn’t give a shit about safety. Not even her own. She rather gives fucks than give **a** fuck and I’m so tired of that.” Lexa ranted on and on getting more and more upset. When she didn’t get a response from Anya she looked up at her friend, who was staring wide-eyed somewhere out of Lexa’s view. She already started cursing under her breath before following Anya’s line of sight and spotted Clarke, Octavia and Raven behind her, clearly having heard every single word she had just said by their similar angered expressions.

Clarke pursed her lips, before she audibly exhaled and addressed Lexa with cold eyes. “Well, that was enlightening. Thanks for sharing your opinion. Although, I did hear a compliment in there somewhere, however my simple-mindedness might elude me, because I do nothing else but flaunt my tits and give out fucks.” Clarke swallowed hard, trying unsuccessfully to keep the tears at bay. “Thanks Lexa, really.” She wiped over her face and stalked off to the back of the pub, whilst Octavia and Raven stood rooted to the spot.

“Are you for real?” The former exploded. “Wow. I have no words. You’re a first-class asshole Lexa.” She turned and followed her friend.

“I have to agree although I’ve got one question.” Raven’s stare bored into Lexa and she simply nodded for the woman to continue unable to use her voice. “All three of us are doing the same job; however you only complain and insult Clarke for it. Why’s that Lexa?” She waited watching Lexa bite down hard on her lip. “Yeah, I thought you wouldn’t have an answer for me.” She got close to Lexa’s face and whispered darkly. “You know nothing about her or us and I’m done listening to the shit that comes out of your mouth.” She paused watching the woman in front of her clench her jaw violently. “If I wasn’t dating your friend, I’d say fuck off and never come back, but I’m sure we’ll see each other so let me give you a well meant advice. Do not, and I mean not as in never, talk about Clarke ever again like that or I’ll literally push you over a mountain cliff. Am I making myself clear?”

If not for the usual backdrop of bar sounds it would have been possible to hear the harsh grinding of both women's jaws regarding each other with dislike and hatred in their features.

“Yes.” Lexa grumbled, fishing for her beer done with the conversation.

“Fine. Anya?” Raven’s eyes wandered to the addressed and her glare softened. “You hang with us or do you prefer asshole’s company?”

“Shit.” Anya groaned loudly and looked at Lexa. They have been friends for so long, they’ve been through a lot of trouble together and she knew Lexa's real issues. Knew might be too certain, but she at least was confident about the state of her friend's heart. She couldn't fathom why Lexa kept quiet though. Why she always managed to dig herself in the deepest holes possible when it came to Clarke.

Her silence prompted Lexa to look up at her. “Go, hang with them or whatever, I’m leaving anyway.” She stood up and grabbed her jacket, risking a glance to the back of the bar, but Clarke was nowhere to be seen.

“Smartest thing I‘ve heard you say in a long time.” The growl close to her ear pulled her eyes back to her immediate surrounding.

“Raven…” Anya soothed and placed a lingering hand on the fierce brunette’s shoulder.

“What?” Her eyes never leaving Lexa’s.

“Lexa, I’m sorry.” Anya ignored Raven, watching Lexa. “This is so fucked up.” What she meant to say was 'you are so fucked up' and 'let me help you'.

Lexa understood. “Don’t be,” was all they heard from her. She had started walking towards the exit.

“Are **you** sorry?” Raven called after her when Lexa was almost through the door. She looked back and locked eyes with her, but remained silent, before turning and finally disappearing into the darkness which had settled over Polis. “She’s not even sorry. Fucking hell. What a motherfucking cunt ass bitch.” Raven turned around sporting a mask of incredibility.

“I totally agree she was way out of line, but she’s still my best friend, so can you please not refer to her like that?”

“Anya, how can you still defend her?”

“My friendship with Lexa isn’t based on her issues with Clarke, Ray.” She tried to reason.

“Yeah, I don’t get why you guys are friends anyway.”

“We go way back and you know that. I won't tell you more, but she's worth it. I love her.” Raven looked at her sceptically, but before she could voice any thoughts, Anya went on. “Besides, she is the one who has to clean up after you guys, if we're being honest.” Anya winced at the daggers shooting out of Raven’s eyes.

“It’s not our job to keep anyone away from spending their money. We’d be stupid if we did that. We'd lose our jobs if we did that. You know we depend on the money.” Raven was so, so tired of defending her and her friend's decision to accept the job year after year.

“I only know, because you and I talked about it.” Anya tried explaining.

“Why haven’t you told Lexa, so this whole ordeal could have been avoided and Clarke would have never heard any of the bullshit?”

“It wasn’t my place to tell her.” She stated simply. “Besides, how could I have foreseen this happening?”

Raven looked at her, placing her hands on her hips. “Ok so whose place do you think it was?”

Anya didn’t lower her gaze when she answered. “Clarke’s.”

“No babe, you’re in the wrong. This one could as well be on you for not talking to ‘Ms Know-it-all’.” Raven huffed out and shook her head before leaving her sat at the bar to join her friends back at their table. “You ok?” She asked Clarke as soon as she was in earshot, Anya following her hot on her heals.

“Not really.” She sniffed and lifted her head to look at her friend. “Um, Anya… behind you...” She trailed off. “Please don’t fight with her. It’s not her fault.” She added after a moment.

Raven threw a glance over her shoulder and upon seeing Anya’s face she turned back. “I can’t deal with this shit at the moment. I’m too sober and too angry. Let’s change that.” She said and flopped down on the other side of the booth.

They signalled for the barkeeper to send a round of shots, when Anya sat down next to Raven. “Listen…” She started looking from Clarke to the two brunettes and back. “I know what Lexa said was utterly awful and disrespectful and blatantly outrageous and I’m not trying to excuse her behavio-”

“But?” Raven interrupted and turned to look at her. “What could you possibly say to make amends?”

“I’m not trying to apologize for her; I just want to point out, that all the shit she assumed about Clarke is based on what she sees. And -” she went on quickly raising her voice over Raven’s and Octavia’s protest, “she doesn’t know you at all. If she did, there’d be absolutely no way she’d have said what she did.” To everybody’s surprise, Clarke nodded.

“I know.” She agreed. “Do you guys really think it doesn’t bother us what might happen to our guests? Luckily, there’s never been any bad news. Or at least, we don’t hear about it.” She shrugged. “I just… Lexa’s assumptions about me and us are plucked out of thin air. I simply don’t get, why she would think of the nastiest things instead of talking to me or any of you. I mean, who does that?” She huffed in annoyance and went on with an angry pout. “And about the ‘tits and whatnot’ comment. She has no right to judge me. It’s my body and I can do whatever the hell I want with it, and it brings in the money I need to make my dreams come true. Don’t I deserve a shot at that, just because the approach I take might be a little unconventional?”

“Of course. Everybody does, but don’t you think you could tell Lexa some of your dreams?” Anya asked gently.

Raven snorted unattractively at her lover’s suggestion. “And don’t you think Clarke would have done so, if ‘Ms I fucking even hate the air that surrounds her’ hadn’t clearly shown her disinterest in such a conversation?”

“I’m done entertaining the idea of her being anything but hostile and hateful.” Clarke exclaimed before looking at Anya, who looked surprised at her outburst. “And to make that very clear, there’s no need to tell her any of that. She has her set opinion about me.” Her blue eyes sparkle with a dangerous expression. “It’s not my job to change her beliefs.”

“But…” Anya looked at her confused. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you used to say you liked her. A lot. Has that changed since we talked last?” Clarke bit her lip, a blush forming on her pale skin. The older blonde took that as a yes and asked in astonishment. “Then why don’t you want to correct her ideas about you?”

Clarke sighed and covered her face with her hands for a split second before rubbing her temples. “I wanted her to like me because of me. And clearly she can’t stand me.”

“She has the wrong picture of who you are. Show her the real you.”

“Why should I? To make it even more hurtful? No thanks.” Clarke shook her head and eagerly grabbed two of the numerous shots which were sat down on their table the same instant. She slammed the first glass back down on the top and lifted the second one to her mouth, when Anya spoke once again in a matter of fact voice.

“She likes you.”

Clarke snorted into her glass. “Wow, she has to work on her game if that’s her way of showing affection.” The anger turned into the well-known frustration after the warmth of the alcohol spread through her body.

“Trust me.” Anya tried once more. “Trust me that I know my best friend. Don’t you see the pattern? She’s into you, which is the reason why she’s so strongly reacting to everything you do. She hates that you flirt with everyone, she hates that you use your body to get money. She hates all that because she thinks you deserve better than that.”

It was silent for a moment. All three women looked in surprise at Anya. “Has she told you that?” Raven found her voice first. “Has she actually said that or is this one of your interpretations?”

“I know her.” Anya settled on and stopped Raven’s protest with her hand over the other’s mouth. “I’ve lived with her for over five years. She’s out of her mind jealous and has no idea how to deal with her emotions. She's genuinely upset about the situation on top of the mountain, but she's even more troubled about what she feels for you. You guys caught her ogling.” Her eyes flitted between Octavia and Raven. “You saw her staring.” She looked at Clarke. “She couldn’t give an answer to Ray’s question, because she’s in denial.”

“What question?” Clarke asked worriedly. “What did you ask?”

“Just why she’s constantly in your face when we all do the same job and the same thing. She’s never yelled at me for serving alcohol. She’s never growled at Octavia for using her body.”

“Yeah Clarke.” Octavia added. “Always only you.”

“Is that the reason you guys keep teasing me about her? Because you too think she’s actually interested in me?”

They nodded, but remained quiet for a moment, sipping at their shots when Raven looked up. “As much as I’d love to see her get lost that won’t happen. So we need to make her understand that she has to figure out how to accept what we do and step up to her feelings or leave it be and be civil towards us and Clarke. At the moment, she's bullying her and that's unacceptable.” Three out of four heads nod in confirmation.

“I’m not doing anything.” Clarke denied. “She doesn’t want to talk to me, didn’t want to get to know me. She doesn’t accept what I do and she looks down on me for it.” She chanced a glance around, eyes unfocused jumping from interior to people. “This was the last straw.” She took a sip of her drink to cool down, but her voice betrayed her, clearly showing how hurt she felt. “She’s beautiful and strong-willed and determined and all I admire in a woman, but she's also opinionated and belittling and I can’t stand it anymore. She’s judging people left and right instead of taking a fucking minute to learn about them.” Clarke licked her dry lips, inhaled deeply and with finality in her voice she added, “I’m done with her and you better not do anything about it.”

# ~~~

A week had passed since the last altercation and Lexa had asked Anya every day of the past seven what had happened after she had left the pub and whether Clarke was ok, but her friend remained tight-lipped. Anya only shook her head sadly whenever she was asked about the other woman. She had promised not to interfere, even though the instructor was convinced it would change her friend’s view and get her to accept the fact that she overreacted because she had feelings for the blonde. She had promised she would not say a word and Lexa gave up asking and focused back on her job.

She was on her routine tour, checking the depth and consistency of the snow on top of Mount Weather, when she stumbled upon the blonde setting up for another day. They halted in their tasks and glared at each other for a moment without saying a word. Lexa had been waiting for a chance to apologise for the things she had said, but the scowl on Clarke’s face made her question her manners. She scratched her foot over the icy cover of the mountain, thinking hard how to proceed, when the blonde took the decision off of her and asked loudly to cover the distance. “What do you want Lexa?” She slowly walked closer to avoid having to yell her next words. “Another lecture about my ‘sluttiness’ or another attempt to close down the igloo bar?” She stopped a few feet away from the brunette voicing her questions with a hint of defeat.

Lexa looked at her with big eyes, before she could get her tongue to work again. “No nnoo…” She stammered clearly not used to being confronted so bluntly. “I stopped to… ah… to you know… um… apologise.” She managed with an embarrassed shrug.

“For what? The list is long. You need to be more specific for what you’re sorry for.” The blonde snarled.

The mountaineer stared at smaller woman for another moment. She didn’t want to take back any of her words, but after thinking about them she wished she could rephrase some of them. “I shouldn’t have worded my opinion the way I did.” She finally said. “It was hurtful and I’m sorry for that.”

Clarke kept glaring at her, eyes merely two narrow slits, the blue blitzing through was icy and cold. “So, let me clarify, because I’m so simple-minded. You’re sorry for the way you insulted me, but not the content of it?” Lexa remained silent, which was taken by Clarke exactly the way it was meant. “Right, thanks but no thank you. You can shove that apology up your ass.”

Lexa bit down on her lip trying to keep her cool, but the fury in Clarke’s eyes made her angry all over. “How can you be so self-righteous?” She blurted out.

“Me?” The blonde snarled outraged. “What about you? Walking around as if this place and all the people belong to you. For your information, you’re not the commander of us and we don’t have to do what you think we should. You don’t like that, well… pack your bags.”

“Of course I’m no one’s leader.” Lexa huffed out in annoyance. “But at least I consider the welfare and safety of others over my own pleasure.”

“Pleasure?” Clarke’s voice broke painfully and Lexa winced at the hurtful expression on her face. “You think this is pleasure? Believe me…” The bartender pinched the bridge of her nose, clearly trying to calm down and get her racing thoughts under control. She was on the verge of losing it so she didn't think it through when she opened her mouth. “I’d love to do anything but this, but it helps me doing what I really want to do.” She rushed out and stopped breathing for an unmeasured amount of time, watching Lexa's face morph from anger into confusion. “Forget it!” she growled and quickly turned around and walked back to her icy pavilion.

Lexa stared after her for a long while. She felt triumphant to know that she was right. She’d always hoped this wasn’t what Clarke wanted out of life and now she finally had her confirmation. However, her good mood vanished the second she remembered the pain and hurt in the blonde’s voice. She sighed deeply at her inability to make the other feel anything but bad.

# ~~~

Lexa had tried to pry more information about Clarke out of Anya, but her friend remained schtum, nothing would make her budge on the matter. Except for one drunken statement.

“You’re a stupid asshole.” Anya had drunkenly mumbled on their way back to their apartment.

“I know.” Lexa slurred back. “What exactly you’re referring to?”

“She could have been it for you.”

“Huh?” Lexa came to a sobering halt and pulled Anya to a stop too. “What?”

“What?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“What did I say?”

“Who could have been it for me? What is ‘it’ anyway?” Lexa asked heatedly.

Anya grinned at her drunkenly and giggled. “Muppet.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Really?”

They engaged in a stare-off neither blinking for a while until Anya wobbled drunkenly, effectively breaking their locked eyes. “Let’s go home. I’m tired and cold.” She said and left Lexa standing alone contemplating the information. She wasn't that stupid to not know Anya was talking about Clarke. At least Lexa hoped there wasn’t someone else out there holding grudges against her. Though, what did she mean with 'she could have been it'. In what way? Had Clarke talked to Anya about Lexa? Did Anya know if Clarke had had an interest in her at one point in the past? Did she really fuck up much more than she thought? Lexa shuttered at that possibility. The situation was bad enough as it is, she doesn’t need to add fuel to the traitorous thoughts haunting her at night.

Needless to say, Lexa did not sleep well, but the next morning, Anya complained so much about her headache that she ran from their shared space to get away from her without getting any answers. She stormed into the office of the rescue basecamp, slammed the door and effectively pushed everyone who felt like talking to her a million miles away from tackling that activity.

# ~~~

Up on the mountain, Clarke suffered silently, as she was still working on convincing herself to do the right thing by icing Lexa out instead of cosying her in by telling her what she needed to know to probably change her mind. She knew, she was being stupid and denied herself any possibility with the woman who still kept her mind occupied. She simply couldn’t bring herself to accept Lexa’s words as the truth from her point of view. All Lexa had was her wild imagination of what was going on in the igloo. She’d never bothered to stay long in the bar and had therefore never witnessed anything else than them selling drinks. Clarke wasn't only beautiful to look at she had a lot of artistic talents. Alas, Clarke kept mulling over the one fact she was certain about. Even if someone didn’t know that she saved every penny for the possibility to open her own gallery, which was insanely expensive, and therefore pushed her to take up any job with decent or more than decent salary, that someone shouldn’t walk around like a pompous ass and declare her a slut. She could have had any kind of opinion about Clarke, but she assumed the worst possible. That alone hurt Clarke to no end. What was it about her that Lexa saw the nastiest instead of giving her the benefit of a doubt?

# ~~~

They hadn’t spoken at all after their last confrontation. Whenever their paths had crossed they’d looked at each other before quickly looking away and had never exchanged another word. Lexa simply didn’t know what to say. She realised that she missed the smiles and awkward waves Clarke had always regarded her with in the past years until the fatal fallout. Now, the blonde eyed her warily, angrily and dismissed her existence as soon as she could. It didn’t sit well with Lexa, but she didn’t dare to approach the other without knowing how to make amends.

The season had taken off brilliantly and Lexa had been pleasantly busy, but only a few weeks in and it slowed down a little. It was a lazy day in the middle of December when she found herself strolling around on the top of the mountain with literally nothing to do. It was late afternoon and the slopes would close in an hour.

“Why don’t you cash in your promise and check out the bar?” Anya prompted after Lexa had sighed loudly for the fifth time in a matter of minutes. Lexa eyed her sceptically. “Don’t look at me like that. I know you haven’t been and I know you still think they’re going the full monty.” Anya paused and watched her friend blush. “I’m actually surprised you haven’t been if you really think Clarke is stripping.” She grinned naughtily. “I would have thought you'd get front row seats.” She teased her even more.

Lexa coughed embarrassed and shrugged uncomfortably. “I’m not into stuff like that.”

“You’re not into nudity?” Anya smirked. “Since when?”

“Not what I meant and you know that.” She stuck out her tongue. “I’m not into watching women undress for men. Full stop.” Lexa clarified.

“Well they wouldn’t if you were there.” She poked her friend in the leg.

Lexa pushed her off and replied nonchalantly. “I’m not your stereo-typical lesbian, thank you.”

Anya sighed. “Listen, there’s no stripping anyway.”

“Ok.” Lexa shrugged. She hadn’t really thought they would. It was just a throw away comment she had let out a year ago.

“Just go over there, have a drink or two, you’re off hours anyway and try to be civil. I’m sure she’d try if you tried.”

“Whatever…” Lexa mumbled dismissively, but stood up nevertheless. “I’ll be back in a bit so we can close the slopes together.”

“You’re off.” Anya exhaled loudly. “Stay off. I don’t need your help, we’ve got people scheduled to do this. I might join you in a bit.”

“Alright,” Lexa waved, “later then.” She stepped out of the rescue building into the coldness of the early evening. She inhaled deeply and glanced over to the bar where an uncountable amount of men and women enjoyed themselves. Music was wafting over and she slowly made her way towards the entertainment, lulled in by a strangely familiar voice she had never heard singing before. She was so focused on the woman on top of the bar singing her heart out, that, before she realised, she stood in front of her. She never needed a drink more. She had no idea what she was doing, when Clarke and Raven spotted her. The brunette strutted over after the blonde stared her down whilst walking to the other end of the long ice block, furthest away from Lexa, finishing her song. ‘So much about civility,’ the paramedic thought, but couldn't stop herself checking out the woman in the tight uniform she was wearing. Now that she saw the full outfit, she had to admit, it was less revealing than she had thought it would be. Though, it left little to the imagination due to the tightness of the whole ensemble. However, the voice combined with those visuals will keep her up for a long time, Lexa knew that for sure.

Raven watched her ogling for another moment before she slapped down hard on the icy top and snarled, “Whatcha want asshole?”

Lexa jumped in surprise and cringed at the harsh words, but didn’t correct her. “Water?”

“Are you asking me or ordering it?”

She glared at the bartender and cleared her throat. “I want water.” She repeated more convincingly.

“Get yourself some snow and melt it in your foul mouth.” Raven sneered and left her standing like a moron.

“What the…” Lexa was speechless for a few seconds. “I hope you’re only refusing to serve water to me.” She called after the retreating form of the brunette. All three women looked over at her.

“Yes Lexa.” Raven turned back to her after shooting a look to Octavia and Clarke. “It’s only you. Anyone else who wants water gets water.” She said pointedly and Lexa huffed and pushed away from the bar. She walked all the way back to the entrance and let herself fall into a fur covered sun chair. She didn’t mind the rudeness, she had expected being shown the cold shoulder, but if Raven thought for a minute this would scare her away she didn’t know Lexa. Now that she was here, she might as well stay and see what the fuss was about.

She settled in her chair and let her eyes wander around, but soon she focused back on Clarke whilst Octavia and Raven sung a duet, and even though they held the key they had nothing on the blonde’s voice. Next she watched them dance and a few patrons joined into the routine. They all laughed and enjoyed their time, but then she witnessed Clarke flirt and felt her insides churn uncomfortably. This was why she didn’t come here. She hated being constantly on edge, but instead of huffing and puffing and feeling her opinions about the trio confirmed, she repeated Anya’s words over and over in her head and tried to remain open-minded. It took over an hour of silent steaming for her to surprisingly realise that all the flirting and smiling seem only to be for show. Any advances were dismissed in a friendly way; Clarke didn’t accept any telephone numbers or invitations for a drink and she certainly didn’t seem to hand out private information either. In fact, Lexa learned, that neither of them did. It looked like all three stayed sober and focused. If they weren’t clad in those tight clothes and danced suggestively on top of the ice block, it would have been rather tame for bar entertainment. They were just good at what they were doing and that seemed to be enough to pull people in.

‘Are they getting paid or do they actually depend on the tips?’ Lexa thought the moment she witnessed Clarke stepping back and swatting off over-eager hands trying to cop a feel. The bartender was still smiling, but looked more and more uncomfortable. Octavia and Raven gravitated towards her, but Clarke didn't let them come closer. Lexa was out of the chair in a second and pushed through the crowd like a bulldozer; pushing patrons out of her way to reach a very unsettled looking blonde.

“I believe you've been told to stop what you’re doing?” She growled at the tall man crowding Clarke.

“What the hell?” He turned around and was met by a fierce glare. Instead of taking his leave he sneered at Lexa and looked her up and down. “Oh, well maybe you and I should get it on then, if she’s too prude.” He pointed absentmindedly over his shoulder to Clarke whilst leering at Lexa.

“Fucking hell.” The brunette mumbled under her breath but didn’t break eye contact. “No one in here is remotely interested in you. Why don’t you take a walk to the cable car and get down to Polis?” She tried as politely as possible.

“Yeah, I’m rather going down on you…” He replied instead.

“Ok, last warning.” Lexa’s nostrils flared angrily and her hands curled into fists. “Leave now or I make you.”

“You?” He laughed out loud. “You couldn’t hurt me if you tried little ranger.”

“Nah, she’s good at that.” Raven growled scooting closer to Clarke now that the blonde's attention wasn’t focused on keeping her out of harm’s reach. “You ok?” She asked, watching her watching Lexa.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Clarke replied absentminded too focused on the potential disaster unfolding in front of her.

Raven nodded and turned to Lexa. “Need help?” she pointing to the man who had been watching them with glee in his eyes. Lexa looked over in surprise. She didn’t expect the offer. She looked over at Clarke, who had wrapped her arms around herself chewing on her bottom lip, but quickly looked back at Raven.

“Maybe call Anya? Could use her if this gets uglier.” She faced the man once more who just stood there enjoying having the attention of three women on him. “Your warning has expired.” Lexa snarled and within the blink of an eye the drink he had just held in his hand was on the bar top and she started pushing him towards the exit securely restraining his arm behind his back.

“What the fuck bitch let me go.” He hollered and tried to get out of her iron grip with futile success. She had him well restrained. They exited the igloo and she kept pushing him further towards the cable car station.

“Due to the harassment of the bar stuff you’re not welcome in the Igloo any longer.” She cited to him. “Seeing you’re not sober anymore I further confiscate your skis or board.” She finished letting go of his arm in front of the entrance doors to the station.

“What the fuck you think you’re doing?” He yelled at her whilst caressing his shoulder.

“Funny you ask…” She fake-laughed and pointed to her jacket. “I’m not a ranger, Yogi Bear, but I’m giving you two options. Take the ski-lift down or I’ll handcuff you to the back of the snow mobile and you’ll be going to spend the night within concrete walls. Your choice.”

She didn’t see the blow coming.

“Lexa!”

Clarke and Anya came running from opposite directions towards the woman bleeding profusely out of her nose and a cut on her lip, sitting on the man whose face was pushed into the snow struggling against the restriction.

“Are you ok?”

“Do you need help?”

The concern in Clarke’s voice touched her deeply and she slowly shook her throbbing head and pointed to Anya and back at the guy. “Do you mind?” She asked, tasting the blood.

Anya didn’t hesitate and took him into a tight hold as soon as Lexa pushed up from him. “Come on douchebag. We’ve got an appointment in town.” She held him still whilst Lexa restrained his wrists with some plastic nylon strips she had always on her for fixing fences.

When Anya pulled him towards their office, Lexa turned and spit out some blood. “Motherfucker…” She breathed through her pain.

“Let me see.” Clarke didn’t wait for any acknowledgement or permission, just stepped close to Lexa, and softly turned her face towards her. She wiped the blood off her face with the dishtowel in her hand and focused on the nose and the cut. “I don’t think your nose is broken, but go to the GP to be sure. The cut could be stitched up for better healing.”

“How do you -” Lexa asked, swaying into and away from the gentle touch, unsure off what to do.

Clarke looked up into questioning green eyes, before sighing deeply. “I’ve got some medical knowledge.”

“How come?”

“Mother is a doctor.” She replied offhandedly. “Do you want me to fix your lip?”

“You know how to stitch a wound?” Lexa’s jaw would hit the ground if it wasn’t so painful to let it go slack.

“Yeah.” She waited and watched the other expressing something akin to awe. “Who would have thought it needs an asshole for me to see you care and for you to understand I’m more than a naked bimbo.” She laughed sadly. “Stitches or not?”

“Yes please.” Lexa nodded gratefully, wincing at the pain behind her eyes, mulling over the words in her head.

# ~~~

To Lexa’s astonishment, Clarke knew indeed what she was doing. The well-equipped station offered everything she had needed and after a few minutes, she had left again to go back to her job. Lexa remained lying flat on her back thinking about what had just happened.

She had gotten her face smashed in. Painfully so. She touched her nose for the millionth time wincing at the sensation coursing through her body. It might have been worth it though; she remembered the softest of touches on her skin and the clear as day worry on Clarke’s face. ‘If she hated me, she wouldn’t have been so worried about me,’ Lexa thought the moment the door opened.

“Hi punching bag. What did the doctor say?” Anya strolled over and plopped down on the end of the rolling bed.

Lexa pointed to her nose. “Do you think it’s broken?”

“Did Clarke say it was?”

“No, but she told me to go and have it checked by one.”

“Let me clean the rest of you.” Anya nodded, stood up and fetched some more paper towels, wetting them with sterile water, before looking at Lexa’s face. “She did a pretty good job closing that cut.” The injured woman hummed in agreement, but let her friend finish cleaning the blood off in silence.

“Anya?” She finally asked sitting up slowly. “Where is the guy now?”

“At the police station.” Her friend answered distractedly whilst standing up. She dropped the paper in the bin, before slouching down at the desk opening a file. “We need to fill out the report.”

Lexa huffed in annoyance and slowly made her way over to her friend before collapsing in the chair and sighing loudly. “Please tell me you didn’t know of Clarke’s healing skills.”

“I didn’t.” Anya laughed. “Now, tell me what happened.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes at her friend deciding if she believed her words. “Fine.” She sighed once more and leaned back against the seat, recalling the events for the report.

# ~~~

“Thanks for the tip and come back tomorrow.” Clarke smiled at the group of men and women getting dressed for the cold weather.

“Sure thing sweet cheeks.” One of the men slurred with a goofy smile on his face, when she turned to leave.

“Hey…” She stopped and looked at the man. “You don’t plan to ski down, do you?”

“Well…”

“You’re not allowed. No skiing under the influence. You have to take the lift.” She blurted out.

“Oh ok. We didn’t know.”

“New law.” She lied, fiddling with the cash in her hands. “Spread the word.” She added before turning back to the bar, ignoring her friends’ grinning faces.

“Not a word.” She hissed and started cleaning the rest of the tables.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoyed it? Let me know, don't be shy.


	3. Part III

# ~ Part III ~

“Sooooo…”

They had just come home and Clarke had hoped her friends would let her off the hook for once. She was wrong. As soon as the door closed behind her, Octavia pulled her to the couch and Raven sat down in front of her on the coffee table.

“Spill. Since when do we formulate new laws?” They grinned.

“Let it go. I thought it was the right thing to say.” Clarke defended her decision whilst taking off her coat.

“Has Lexa’s little knight stunt touched your sleeping heart, princess?” Raven and Octavia copied her shedding their winter attire.

“It was nice of her to step in.” Clarke evaded eye contact and played with her fingers. The truth was, she couldn’t stop thinking about how hot Lexa had looked when she had confronted the creepy perv. She had been all fierce eyes and taught muscles. She also couldn’t stop marvelling at the feeling of the brunette’s soft skin.

“We were right behind you. No need for her to get involved.”

“First of all, O, it’s her job. Secondly, you know I won't let you get involved and possibly hurt.”

“Is it?” The smaller brunette raised an eyebrow at her friend’s words ignoring the second part of the blonde's explanation. “Anya had said she had been off for the day.”

“Yeah, no job-bound duty to safe and protect.” Raven added to the comment.

“Have you met her? She’s a walking protector. Wherever she goes the need to save people is ingrained in her body, soul and mind.” Clarke shrugged. “She did what she thought was the right thing to do and so did I.”

“You my dear friend are head over heels for this woman.” Octavia patted the blonde’s knee. “You should talk to her. For real. Tell her what she needs to know about you and stop punishing yourself. The least you could get out it is a good lay. Although, I don’t think Lexa would do anything without serious intent. Or anyone...” She trailed off with a wicked smile.

Clarke glared at her and shifted on the couch.

“Or tell Anya to tell her.” Raven piped up, reading a barrage of text messages on her phone. “According to her, Lexa is asking a million and one question about you and my lover finds it difficult to keep avoiding her.”

“I can’t just walk up to her and tell her things.”

“You did hear me say, she’s asking about you?” Raven paused to read. “You stitched her lip?” She asked incredulously, finally looking up at her friend.

“Well, it would have healed with a scar and I don’t want those lips to scar.” Clarke blushed.

“You don’t want… Clarke, for someone who is so adamant on letting Lexa think she’s right with her assumptions about you being an easy, dumb Barbie, you’ve just given her reason to doubt.”

“I couldn’t not help her.” Clarke burst out angrily.

“No one says that,” Octavia sighed and boxed her friend gently on the upper arm, “but the problem is you should tell her about your life. Dreams. Interests. General background information.”

“Yeah Clarke.” Raven contributed with a nod.

“Why are you guys so pro Lexa now? You wanted to kick her ass just a few days ago. You were angry on my behalf. What happened with that fury?” The blonde asked upset.

“Well we-”

“You heard Anya. She’s convinced Lexa likes you and regrets deeply what happened.” Raven interrupted. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not calling for peace I’m merely rooting for justice for you. As soon as Lexa learns more about you, she’ll give you the respect and admiration you deserve.”

“Couldn’t have said it any better. All I want at that moment in time is for you to be happy. Do I see her being the reason for your happiness? No idea. You liked her once.” Octavia nodded along her words.

Silent fell over the three friends. Blue eyes wandered from brown ones to another pair of blue orbs and down to her hands knitted painfully tight in her lab.

“Take her out for dinner or whatever.” Raven interrupted the quiet.

“What? No way.” Clarke shook her head vehemently. “This is not happening.”

“Yes way.”

“Anya thinks Lexa will come to talk to you.”

“Unless she’s coming with a genuine apology first, one I actually feel is sincere, she shouldn’t bother.” Clarke declared with finality and stood up. “What we’re having for dinner?”

Octavia and Raven exchange a glance and simultaneously shook their heads. “I don’t get how you can be so strict with yourself.”

“I’m not strict, I just know what I’m worth and my current job is already degrading me. I don’t need to add to that.”

“Fine.” Raven stood up and followed the rest of the group into the kitchen, where they settled down for a quick cheese on toast dinner.

# ~~~

Lexa had been off work for two days. The main reason had been her headache, but she also needed to fill out forms and reports at the police station further down the valley. She had been silently reading under the watchful eye of the officer on duty when she looked up.

“Gustus, does he really thinks he can get away with calling it self-defence?” She asked surprised after reading the man’s statement.

“Well, he tries. Your wounds and his are thankfully supporting your side of the story. Besides, I doubt you would hurt anyone on purpose.”

“Right.” Lexa whispered, signing her own statement. “So, what’s happening now?” She asked louder.

“Well, do you want to press charges for assault?”

“I wouldn’t if it had only been me, but earlier he had verbally harassed the staff in our mountain bar and I think it’s his way of talking to women. So based on that…” Lexa scratched her neck, contemplating. “Yeah. I do.”

“In that case, can you get me the names of the staff? It would help if they come down here too to file a report.”

“I can ask them if they want. We’re not on good terms, so I’m not sure they would want to help out though.”

“You helped them.” Gustus smiled. “I’m sure they would want to return the favour.”

“Unlikely.” She sighed. “

The officer furrowed his brow at her words and watched her biting her lower lip. “Shall we have a tea at my desk?” He offered suddenly sensing the trouble behind the young woman’s eyes.

After a moment of contemplation Lexa decided a warm drink and some fatherly advice might be the right thing. “Sure, lead the way.”

Gustus was not family in a blood related way, but he had been one of the police officers who had volunteered whenever they had been looking for lost hikers or fallen climbers. They had become close friends over the years. “So, what’s going on?” He asked while pouring hot water into two cups.

“There’s this woman -”

“Why am I not surprised.” He interrupted her with booming laughter. Lexa blushed furiously at his words. “Well, go on. Tell me about her.” He encouraged, setting the steaming mug in front of her and flopping down into his chair.

“She’s…” Lexa started, licking her dry lips nervously. “I think I’ve been the worst I could have been to her.”

“Explain.” He nodded without judging and Lexa realised she had never given Clarke a chance to explain. She had judged and assumed without knowing her.

“Well, every winter she’s coming to work in that igloo bar on top of Mount Weather for the past few years. She’s gorgeous and really, really beautiful and all, but she lets people, mainly men, ogle her and lust after her to get them to spend insane amounts of money on alcohol. She and her two colleagues, well friends, don’t care about the aftermath of excessive drinking. This is then my problem how to get everyone to safety and it’s so frustrating.”

“Let me guess. You made it clear to her how irresponsible it is to serve alcohol to intoxicated people and set down to discuss what can be done to limit the danger?”

“Not quite.” Lexa winced. “I called her stupid names and accused her of sleeping around as well as being ignorant about the safety of her patrons.” The brunette let her head hang in shame. She had been such an asshole to Clarke.

“Now why would you do that?” He poked her in the thigh nearest to him to have her look at him. “The Lexa I know would have been polite and explaining.” Despite the seriousness of his words, a small smile graced his features.

Lexa rolled her eyes and shifted in her chair, clutching the hot beverage tightly in her cold hands. “I think… I don’t know.” She lowered her eyes once more.

“Yes you do.” Gustus whispered knowingly. “Be honest.”

She looked up and studied his kind eyes and encouraging expression. After another few seconds of silence she inhaled a deep breath, clenched her jaw once and admitted. “I’m jealous of all the guys who get to touch her. I wish she would do something more covered and less exposing.” She rushed the words out and took a sip of her tea to get rid of the connotation of them. Jealousy usually stems from only one source. You want what others have.

The police officer nodded slowly, pursing his mouth in contemplation of Lexa’s confession. He knew her well enough to know he didn’t need to make it more obvious, so instead he asked something else. “Why is she coming year after year to bartend the igloo?”

Lexa looked owlishly at the man. “I don’t know.” She said blinking rapidly.

“You didn’t ask?”

“No.” He stared at her for a moment and she sunk even deeper into her seat. “Don’t even start. Anya has been bugging me over the very same fact for ages.” She mumbled in response to his surprised silence.

“Ok. Well, is she the owner of the business?”

“I…” It caught her off-guard. “I don’t think she is.”

“Do you think she makes the rules?”

“Well, if it isn’t her business, most likely not.”

“So serving alcohol is her job.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement driven home with enough burn to leave scars.

Lexa clenched her jaw once more blushing scarlet. She hated being called out. She hated everything about this situation with Clarke. “She doesn’t have to do it so suggestively dressed though.” She spat out angrily.

Gustus shushed her irritation with an raised eyebrow before he calmly went on. “Do you know how they are paid?”

Lexa simply shook her head. “I told you, I haven’t really taken the time to talk to her.”

“So, let me get this straight.” He laughed at his lame joke, she forced a grin despite her miserable mood. “She started working on Mount Weather a few years ago and instead of introducing yourself properly and making friends and getting to know her, you made it your mission to make her life uncomfortable so she would quit and start doing something more worthy.” He said it with so much sarcasm Lexa felt it dripping onto her with every single word drowning her in the painful truth.

“Um…” She stuttered ashamed.

“And all that because you’re in love with her…” He added in a softer voice.

Her eyes quickly snapped to the pair in front of her. “What? No, no. No one’s talking love Gus.” Lexa corrected immediately with panic in her voice.

“Calm down, I won’t tell.” He sipped his drink and studied his friend. “So, this woman is the one who got verbally assaulted?”

Lexa slumped back again in her chair caressing the mug close to her mouth breathing in deeply. She was thankful for the change of subject. “Yeah.” 

“You jumped in to help her and instead of a grateful thank you peck you cashed in a hit right in the kisser.” Leave it to her friend to circle back to the agonising topic.

Lexa sighed for what felt like the millionth time since she had agreed to the tea. “She wouldn’t have thanked me like that.”

“You don’t know.”

“She hates me.”

“You don’t know.” Gustus repeated. He sat up in his chair and rolled closer to his desk eyes never leaving the young troubled woman. He nodded to himself before picking up a form amidst his cluttered workspace. “Here’s a wild thought. Why don’t you talk to her. Use this police form to get her to meet with you and go from there.” He held out the papers.

Lexa eyes them warily. “She doesn’t have to come here to do it in person?”

“Make sure she signs her statement and I trust you to be honest.”

Lexa contemplated his words for a moment. It would take the pressure of finding a good enough reason off her. It wouldn’t be too weird of a matter to meet up with Clarke. “Yeah ok. Sure.” She plucked the papers out of his fingers and folded them once before placing them carefully in her messenger bag.

“You know Lex, she must be special for you to lose your head over her. Promise me you’ll try to get to know her.” He was serious and Lexa felt herself nodding even though the simple thought of spending time with Clarke made her incredibly nervous.

“Yeah ok.” She repeated and stood up. “See you some time on the slopes, old man.” She grasped his lower arm in lieu of an old-fashioned handshake and clapped him hard on the back.

“See you Lexa.” She was almost through the door when she heard her name being called. “Oh and Lex…” He waited for her to turn around. “Don’t deny what your heart wants.”

She grimaced at the officer standing next to the door and sent a glare Gustus’ way before leaving to the laughter of the two men.

# ~~~

_Hi Clarke. This is Lexa. I was wondering if you fancy a beer. I need to talk to you about your possible involvement in pressing charges for the assault. Let me know. Please._

Clarke woke up to see the text message and stared at her phone for a long moment. She was torn between looking forward to the prospect of sharing a moment with Lexa in a civilized manner and scowling at the woman for thinking her previous behaviour had been excused, because she had put herself in harm’s way to keep Clarke unscathed. However, her sleep-muddled brain didn’t quite get the memo to glare and she found herself smiling at the screen for a second before she huffed out in annoyance at her own inability to stay focused. The last time she had seen Lexa had been when she had stitched up her lip. After that, the brunette had seemed to have vanished. She had eventually overheard Raven telling Octavia that Lexa had been off sick. Clarke had tried her best not to seem too eager to hear about the whereabouts of the infuriating brunette. The teasing had been enough after she had imposed the new law. If she had shown worry for the girl, they might have gone on a field trip. She just hoped Lexa hadn’t suffered too much.

She sat up in her bed contemplating her next move. Seeing her would help ease her mind on Lexa’s wellbeing. Clarke softly tapped her phone against her chin, but after a moment she decided she needed to wake up first before agreeing to something she might not want in the end. She got up to ready herself to face another day of awful people, stupid drinks and freaking coldness.

“Hi there trooper.”

Clarke looked up, meeting Anya’s gaze over the kitchen counter.

“You’re an awfully chipper version of the Anya I know so early in the morning. Coming or going?” Anya’s filthy grin made her realise her words and she groaned. “Don’t answer that one. Left me some coffee by any chance?”

Instead of an answer, the dirty blonde opened a cupboard, pulled out a mug and poured black liquid into it. “There you go. Bad night?”

Clarke shrugged whilst blowing over the hot beverage. “Anya? Can I ask you what happened to Lexa?”

“I think she must have been dropped on the head one too many times as a child, but other than that…” She trailed off one eyebrow raised in question. “Not what you meant?”

“Not really.” Clarke rolled her eyes at the smile forming on the other woman’s lips. “I mean, why was she off. Has she been to a doctor?”

“She’s been seen by you.”

“Anya!” Clarke wined. “A real doctor not someone who had few medical lessons off her renowned surgeon mother.”

“No. She took the last couple of days to relax cos of the headaches.”

Clarke nodded with a worried scowl on her face.

“Why the sudden interest? I thought you were done with her?” The stupid smile morphed into a grin.

Clarke ignored it. “Seems she’s not done with me.” She mumbled and showed her the text.

“You going?” Anya had to talk to Lexa about the chance of clearing up some assumptions.

“Don’t know yet.” She sighed. “What is she talking about anyway?” She waved the phone vaguely between them.

“Oh that? She’d been informed that the idiot who had punched her accused her of hitting him first and he acted in self-defence.”

“He what now?” Clarke let her mug hover mid-air an inch from her mouth eyes wide in surprise.

“Yeah, well Lexa went and cleared it up. I haven’t seen her yesterday, but maybe she’s trying to get your statement in regards of the verbal harassment he had done to you?”

“Ah…” Clarke pressed her fingers to her mouth, swirling the rest of the coffee around in her cup. “Thanks for explaining.” She mumbled after a while and finished her drink.

“Ok. Well whatever you decide is ok. Don’t feel you have to do anything about this moron. Or the other. The female one.” Anya winked and pushed off the stool she had been perched on. “See ya.”

Clarke worried her bottom lip between her teeth and stared off into distance. She couldn't find a reason not to go and hear Lexa out even though the other had never given her that chance. ‘Sometimes, you need to be the better person’, she thought picking up her phone left on the counter.

_Yeah ok. Meet me at the Once Brewed at seven tonight. C_

# ~~~

Lexa was nervous. She had been contemplating for the last hour and a half how to approach Clarke without giving away how desperately she wanted her forgiveness and help. More condonation than anything really. If the blonde decided she didn’t want to help Lexa would be ok with that. If the barkeeper however offered her help but didn’t find it in her to accept Lexa’s apology she wouldn’t know how to cope with that.

She checked the time and a new wave of nervousness racked through her body. Clarke was late. Only by 5 minutes, but what if she had changed her mind? Maybe Lexa should have gone up the mountain to talk to her instead of having Clarke coming to her. ‘Choices,’ she thought the moment the door opened and a windswept, dishevelled person entered quickly. The moment their eyes met over the sea of tables, Lexa’s heart sped up and her hands became clammy. She straightened her shoulders and discreetly wiped her hands along her thighs.

Clarke shook off the remainder of winter and made her way over to the table. “Hi there. Sorry took a little longer. It has been quite windy and the cable car had to stop a few times.”

“Ok.” Lexa nodded, but scolded herself for her lame response. “Um, what do you want to drink?” She added after Clarke had made herself comfortable at the opposite side of the table. Lexa took her in. Her face was red, her hands were shaking and had an unhealthy blue taint from the cold and the wind.

“Peppermint tea please.”

“Coming up. You want something warm to eat?” She asked in the softest voice Clarke had ever heard coming from her and she had to blink twice to grasp the change in demeanour in the other woman.

“Some soup perhaps?”

Lexa stood up with a small smile. “Ok.” She said with more conviction this time. Upon Clarke’s responding smile, she smiled wider. “Be back soon.” Clarke nodded and let her eyes follow her to the bar, where she ordered and waited for the drinks. She wore tight jeans and a flannel and she looked so utterly gay, gorgeous and enticing, Clarke had to shift her gaze to neutral territory in order to remain aloof. She wanted Lexa to properly apologise before she’d move forward to whatever the future had in store for them. Archenemies or friends, or whatever.

The brunette returned and sat down the tea. “There you go.” She plopped into her chair and sipped her beer. “Stressful day,” she asked nonchalantly.

Clarke furrowed her brow at that. “No offense, but why am I here? I don’t think you want to hear anything about my day.”

Lexa held up her hands in a ‘no offense taken’ manner. “Fair enough. Well first, I’d like to express my sincere apology for what I’ve said the other night. You were right. At the time I meant every word, but I’ve been able to change my opinion about you and I wish I’d never had said a word. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m truly sorry.”

“Changed your opinion? Well let’s hear it then Lexa. What do you think of me now?” Clarke challenged, left over anger at the memory shining in her blue eyes.

Lexa gulped emptily. She didn’t expect her to be that hostile. “Um, well I think you guys do a great job.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“What I meant to say is that I can see you don’t put yourself out there like I thought you did.”

“Oh you mean I don’t flaunt my tits into peoples’ faces? I don’t fuck around?”

Lexa winced visibly at Clarke’s words. “That. Yes.” She admitted quietly.

Silence took over for a moment and Clarke sipped her tea slowly letting the warmth fight the cold inside of her. “You know.” She started calmly. “You really need to work on your verbal attacks. You can think of me what you want, but as long as I’ve not provided any proof for your assumptions, you should keep your opinions to yourself, instead of parading them around.”

Any response was delayed when the waiter brought over the soup and set it in front of Clarke with a big smile. “There you go beauty.”

“Thanks.” She pressed through her teeth with a fake smile.

“When you’re done here, why don’t you come find me? My shift ends in an hour.” He added with a wink. Clarke ignored him in favour of arranging her plate. “Oh hey there Lexa. Want anything?”

The addressed clenched her jaw violently and shook her head.

“Fine than. Enjoy.” He smiled and walked off leaving Clarke to carefully sip her soup and Lexa stew in frustration.

“You’re doing it again.” The blonde sighed without looking up blowing onto her dinner.

Lexa spun her head around from where she had stared holes into the far wall. “I'm doing what again?”

“Judging.” Clarke pointed out. “I don’t see the point in sitting here with you if you're so clearly disgusted by me.”

“I'm not.” Lexa stated vehemently.

“Tell that to your face.” Clarke gestured with her spoon to Lexa before starting to eat again. “It's written all over it.” She added after a few gulps. The soup was good and she was starving.

“I don’t dislike YOU.” Lexa tried to clarify, stressing the word you more than needed. Clarke simply kept eating watching her in disbelief, which prompted Lexa to keep talking. “I can’t stand the fact...” She paused and licked her chapped lips nervously. “... that there are so many people wanting to be with you.”

Clarke looked up in surprise at the admission to see Lexa blushing behind her glass. She had to bite her tongue to not pressure the other further why she didn’t like that and what that would mean. Instead she sighed. “You have no right to tell me with whom I can hang out. In fact, you have no say in anything related to me.” She could call her out on her jealousy, but Clarke didn’t want to make the same mistake and assume things.

“Are you guys dating?” Lexa whispered and gestured to the waiter from earlier.

“None of your business, but no. I don’t like him that way.”

The relief washing over the brunette’s face was palpable and Clarke would have laughed if she wasn’t so annoyed by her.

“Ok.” Lexa breathed out. “That’s good.” She added absentmindedly, unaware she’d said it out loud.

“Yeah? Why is that?” Clarke shouldn’t push her. She didn’t know how Lexa felt about her. More importantly, Clarke herself wasn’t sure how she felt about it all. She kept her gaze focused on her food contemplating about the possible answer.

Lexa looked like a deer caught in headlights upon the inquisitive question. When Clarke looked up after not getting a response for a moment, Lexa adverted her eyes and cleared her throat violently. She opened and instantly closed her mouth for couple of times, no words escaping. Clarke immediately felt sorry for her and started to think about a way to take her words back without making it even more awkward, when Lexa finally found her voice again.

“So, um… I was wondering if you want to fill out a report about the guy who had punched me the other day.” The change of subject, although expected, surprised Clarke and she raised both her eyebrows high up her forehead.

“Well, that’s the second part why I wanted to talk to you.” Lexa quickly clarified.

“Right… ok.” Clarke nodded and pushed the now empty bowl to the side. “Anya told me he wanted to put the blame on you?”

Lexa leaned back in her chair, visibly exhausted by the toll the past minutes of conversation have taken on her. “Yeah. Can you believe it?” She said weakly.

“Do you need me as a witness?”

“Have you seen him hitting me?”

Clarke nodded. She had followed them out to see what Lexa would do with him and to make sure Anya was coming to help. “Yeah.” She breathed out. Seeing his fist connecting with Lexa face had made her instantly feel sick. “I can say that he hit you first.”

“And about the harassment?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“There is no such thing as harassment with our management.”

“Come again.” Lexa furrowed her forehead; leaning forward taking in Clarke’s hunched over position. The lack of response triggered another question. “Has that happened before?”

“What do you think?” Clarke huffed out angrily. “Have you not heard about the common notion, that when women wear suggestive clothing they invite men to do whatever they want?” The sarcasm was over the top, as Lexa had paraded around this exact opinion for the last few years herself. Clarke ignored her guilty expression in favour of driving her statement home. “Now Lexa, use your imagination for what Raven, Octavia and I have to endure during a season.”

Knowing now that they had been verbally assaulted more than once, made her blood boil. She’d been so naïve. And stupid. And dumb. She was interrupted in her downward spiral of self-deprecation by the scratching of a chair.

“Yeah, guess you didn’t realise.” Clarke stood and grabbed her purse and coat. “If you need me to sign a statement in favour of your lawsuit, you know where to find me.” She put her jacket on and slowly buttoned it up. “Anything else is off the table.”

“Clarke. Please stay. Have another tea?” Lexa stood up as well, gesturing to the newly vacated chair opposite her.

“I’m sorry, I’m tired.” Clarke smiled weakly. “And for the record, apology accepted cos I’m also fed-up fighting with you, but please stay out of my life Lexa.” She added quietly in a tone that indicated she had accepted her situation. Apparently, Clarke's subconscious had made the decision without her.

“Thank you for accepting it, I’m truly very sorry.” She meant it with her whole heart. She wished she had started talking to Clarke years ago. “Can I walk you home?” She asked in hopes to prolong the time spend with the blonde.

“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.” Clarke refused her offer. “Thanks for the tea and soup. Have a nice evening, Lexa.”

“My pleasure. Thank you for coming and talking.”

They shared a last glance before Clarke left the pub and Lexa went over to sit at the bar. She had been feeling awful before this evening, now she felt downright disgusted by herself and the way she had treated Clarke and by extension Raven and Octavia. She was just as bad as any man thinking the three wanted the attention, asked for it because of the way they were dressed. She ordered a whiskey and emptied it as soon as it was put in front of her.

“Woah, bad date?”

“Fuck off!” She snarled at the waiter. “Don’t you have dishes to clean?”

“Hey not my fault she’s not into pussy.” He shrugged, happy to make her feel as bad being rejected by Clarke as he had felt when she left without acknowledging him. He turned to walk back to the kitchen, when Lexa charged at him and pushed him into the corner.

“Listen up creep. That woman you’re referring to is a human being who deserves respect and not an asshole like you trying to get into her pants whenever they see her.”

“What? As opposed to an asshole like you?” He pushed her back.

“I’m saying this once so listen up muppet. Keep your dirty fingers and filthy eyes off her. She doesn’t want this kind of attention from you or anyone else.”

“Get off me dyke and mind your own frigging business!”

“What did you just call me?” Lexa slammed him once more into the corner, pushing down her arms against his windpipe.

“Let me go.” He gasped and whimpered.

“If you ever even get close to her or me, I’ll beat you up so badly even your own mother would think you’re crap and trash you.” She spit furiously. “Get it, mouth breather?”

Lexa didn’t let go waiting for him to acknowledge her words when strong arms wrap around her body and pull her off him. As soon as the weight was gone, he scrambled to his feet and took off to the kitchen, slamming the door loudly behind him.

“Fuck Lexa. What the hell?”

“Piss off Anya.”

“Why are you so fucking mad?” She pushed her towards the exit. The shorter woman stumbled to remain standing, but managed to balance out and turned around. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? I didn’t ask for you.”

“Well neither did I, but somehow you’re like the nasty pimples on my ass. Unwanted, but still there.”

“If you hate me that much, why don’t you fuck off to your squeeze and leave me be. I had every right to kick the shit out of this asshole.”

“I was joking. I love you Lex. You know that. I didn’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”

“Whatever.” Lexa brushed off and started walking towards their home. “You've been kicked out of your love nest or how were you able to be here that quick? Didn’t see you in the bar before.”

Anya ignored her and asked instead. “What happened? I thought you had planned to talk to Clarke tonight and not bash someone up. Least of all this weird-ass toady.”

“He ‘trash talked’ Clarke.” Lexa provided reluctantly.

“He does that with every woman who doesn’t want him.” Anya huffed out, having been on the receiving end of the trash talk one too many times.

“I know. It just rubbed me the wrong way tonight.”

“Clarke?”

Lexa just looked up for a moment, before starring off into the distance without saying another word.

“What happened?”

“I don’t even know where to begin.”

“At the start is usually a great point.” Anya shrugged with a careless expression and waited for her friend to open the door to the flat. Lexa sighed and after taking off boots and jackets and made her way over to their tiny kitchen and switched on the kettle. “Want tea?”

“What I want is to know what Blondie has said.”

Lexa recalled the events whilst brewing her tea, sitting down at the little bar table and munching on an apple.

“Yeah, Raven told me they had a major incident last year and instead of reporting it to the police they were told to shut up and stop complaining by their own management.”

“This isn’t right An. We need to change the policy up there. I mean, I get it now, that they probably don’t do it -”

“Congrats on that.” Anya interrupted her rant.

Lexa grimaced, but went on talking, accepting the verbal kick in the teeth. “I just don’t understand why neither decide to do something else. I don’t want them to be a target for sexual harassment.”

“It’s easy and quick cash and they need the money, Lex. The tighter the clothes the more they make.”

“But it’s not safe for them. If this can’t be changed then they need protection.”

“You’re offering to bodyguard the three?” Anya asked amused.

“If there is no other way to keep them safe, I will have to do it myself.”

“God, you really do love this woman, don’t you?”

An impressive blush coloured Lexa’s cheeks, neck and ears, but instead of denying it right out like she had done with Gustus, she simply lowered her head. “Doesn’t matter really, cos she asked me to stay out of her life.”

“Pardon?” Anya stared at her in surprise. That would have been the last thing she had imagined the blonde saying.

“Her exact words not my assumed interpretation.” Lexa confirmed mocking herself to cover the hurt.

Anya stopped her from putting her mug into the sink and turned her around to look at her closely. “Clarke told you she doesn’t want you in her life?” She asked for clarification.

Lexa nodded with a sad pout.

“I’m confused. This is very, very baffling.” Anya shook her head to emphasize her state of bewilderment.

“Why?”

“I just…” Anya started, but pressed her lips tightly together before finishing her thought.

“Just what?” Lexa studied her intently. It was obvious her friend had caught herself almost spilling something she shouldn’t have.

“It’s not my place to say anything.” Anya promptly evaded the question, an apologetic expression was plastered all over her face.

“Of course. It’s always like that with Clarke.” Lexa blurted and finally finished her task to clean her crockery. “I’m going to bed.”

“Lex please.”

“Nah, we’re good. I get it. She shares things with you I’m not privy to.” And Lexa really got it. She couldn't even find an ounce of anger in her; she would be exactly the same were the roles reversed.

“Are you going to change that?” Anya called out to the retreating form.

“I won’t.” Lexa turned back to her friend. “She’s done with me and I won’t impose on her. I’m going to respect her wishes. It’s the least I can do now.”

“Lex, don’t give up before you have talked to her. Honestly. Openly. You haven’t really put that heart of yours on the line.”

“And I won’t.”

Anya levelled her with an angry glare, but Lexa simply turned around and walked through the door of her bedroom. She stopped closing the door when Anya spoke once more.

“You know what? You really are an idiot. Not because you’ve fallen in love with Clarke and treated her like the shit under your shoe, but because you don’t fight for what’s worth fighting for. She might have said to stay out of her life, but hurt can turn into a lot of words which aren’t true.” Without waiting for a reply the older woman walked back to the door, picking up her coat on her way and slammed it close behind her, leaving Lexa gawking after her.

“What the actual…?”

# ~~~ 

Anya knew where she was headed to, but she had no clue how to formulate what was on her mind. The whole situation with her best friend and her girlfriend’s best friend drove her crazy. She just wanted them to stop hurting each other. Maybe that was what Clarke indented to do, to stop the hurt, but Anya couldn’t wrap her head around the stubbornness of the other blonde. She knew her best friend, and she knew how wholeheartedly Lexa could love someone if given the chance. Why Clarke denied herself to be at the receiving end, now that they had a few misunderstanding cleared away, was beyond her grasp.

The ski instructor arrived at her destination a few minutes later and knocked impatiently seeing there was still a light on. 

Octavia opened the door with a surprised look. ”Anya?”

“Is Clarke still awake?” The taller woman asked in lieu of the explanation the other was waiting for. 

Octavia scratched her head and stepped back from the door. “Um, I don’t know. Just came home myself.” She gestured for her to come in.

“Raven?” Anya asked whilst knocking her boots against the doorframe to shake off the snow stuck to it.

“Don’t know.” 

She sighed exhaustedly and walked in. 

“Can I offer you anything or do you want to be alone with your foul mood?” Octavia joked waiting for the taller woman to explain her late night visit. 

“Did you talk to Clarke?” 

Octavia rolled her eyes at Anya’s ignorance of her question. “Not after we left work today. She went to meet up with Lexa.” She replied, eyes widening at her own words. “Oh God. What happened this time?” She added, before Anya could say anything, anticipating drama.

The dirty-blonde bit her lip shortly thinking whether she wanted to involve someone else or keep it between the three. “Right, well.” She started and stopped, overthinking her next step once more. “She should make up her mind.” She finally breathed out with irritation.

“What-” Before Octavia had a chance to ask for additional information they were interrupted by a throat clearing. She turned to the sound and looked at Raven and Clarke in the doorway to their quarters, both dressed in sleeping attire clearly gotten out of bed due to the late night disturbance. 

“What exactly are you complaining about?” Clarke asked with a sliver of annoyance. 

Anya turned to her, looked her straight in the eye and asked with a low voice. “Is this your way of punishment? Make her realise she was wrong and then kick her to the curb?” 

“I hate to break it to you and your childish view of the world, but not everyone gets to make up and kiss. She treated me like shit the last four fucking years, and now that she grew some manners and regret for her behaviour, she’s not entitled to anything more than my acceptance of her apology.” 

“Clarke.” Raven turned towards her friend. “What exactly happened earlier? And try it with the whole story this time.” 

“Nothing happened, good God. She apologised, I accepted.” 

They waited for more, but Clarke remained tight-lipped about her encounter with the brunette.

“Which is really kind of you, but why did you tell her to stay out of your life?” Anya asked, wanting to understand the reasoning further.

“Look, I’m glad she’s sorry. She was so out of line it wasn’t easily forgivable.” Clarke’s voice dropped in volume until it was merely a whisper. “However, that doesn’t mean I can forget her words. I...” 

Everyone was silent for a moment, waiting for Clarke to finish her sentence. When she didn't, Anya nodded. “Yeah, ok I get that.” She agreed, anger leaving her body. “Never mind. It sounded so weird coming from her that I wanted to hear it from you. Especially knowing that you like her a lot. Thanks for explaining it to me.” Anya smiled ruefully. “Sorry for coming here all bulldog-style in the middle of the night. Lexa’s just so out of it, I was being protective.”

Clarke smiled a small smile, biting her lip in contemplation before finishing her earlier statement. “I can’t be anything with her.” She said and sighed. “Not yet.” She added after a moment, sharing a look with all three before turning in for the night without looking for comfort from either of her friends. 

# ~~~ 

When Anya woke up the next morning she excused herself quickly and made her way back to her own home wanting to talk to Lexa, but the other wasn’t there anymore. Another wave of snow had come in and everyone was needed to secure the slopes. She found her hours later in their mountain top office hunched over her desk eyes flitting between the computer screen and a piece of paper. 

“Where the hell have you been Lex?” 

Instead of an answer, she held up one hand indicating she’s currently unable to reply. Anya flopped down in another chair and huffed in annoyance. A few minutes later Lexa stopped and finally looked up. 

“Anya.” She stated simply prompting for her friend to talk, but the taller woman remained silent waiting for an answer from her instead. Lexa sighed. “I was up early and went for a walk before getting the call to come in as they needed me.” She finally answered the question.

“I was worried.” 

Lexa had the decency to look guilty. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled playing with her pen. 

“I get it.” Anya stood up and walked over to her. “You think you’re invincible, because you know the area like the back of your hand.” She put her own on Lexa’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “You’re not though, and the seasons change the landscape. I want you to leave me a hint where to send the rescue team to.” She finished with a punishing slap on her friend’s back. 

Lexa ignored her twisting the cap of her pen around between her fingers, so Anya shrugged it off and walked to the back to fix herself a coffee, watching her silent companion sulking at her desk. “Anyway.” The older woman sauntered back over a couple of minutes later and pointed to the piece of paper on her desk, blowing onto the steaming mug in her hands. “What are you working on?”

“None of your business.” Lexa mumbled with left over annoyance at being reprimanded. 

Anya laughed shortly and pulled a chair closer to the desk. “God woman. Why is everything so complicated with you. You and I both know, you will talk to me sooner than later. Why not now when I ask you?” 

She finally looked up and replied with a playful serious expression. “Cos it’s fun to annoy you?”

“You need to work on your definition of fun.” She carefully sipped her coffee and eyed her expectantly.

“Don’t judge.” Lexa started and waited for Anya’s nod of agreement. “I was checking whether I can afford reducing my hours to take a couple off in the afternoons to be at the igloo.” 

Anya was looking at her with wide eyes. “You... come again?” 

The younger woman shrugged the astonishment in her friend’s voice off. “It’s no big deal. I’ve worked in a club before and I’m keeping myself fit.” 

“Yes big deal. The ‘Roadhouse’ hardly counts as a club.” She sighed. “Lex this is… Wow.” Anya put the mug down and studied the calculations on the notepad before looking up at her partner. 

“What? I don’t see the issue with it. They need someone present to avoid a scenario like last week. I told you I won’t sit around and do nothing.” 

“That’s not what I’m so stunned about.” Anya shook her head. “She told you not to bother her anymore Lexa. This is bothering.” 

“I can’t. I need to make up for my wrong doing. Anya, I was an utter idiot. I just want to protect her.” 

“I understand.” Anya really did. She’d heard her fair share of ugly stories from Raven. “I’m just concerned you’ll do it because of other reasons.” She let her words sink in for a moment, before putting her hand on top of her friends to give it a soft squeeze. “If so, please don’t.”

“I’m not.” Lexa answered quietly shaking off the comforting warmth. “I don’t expect anything from her if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

# ~~~ 

“Is she for real?” Octavia exclaimed with abandon. 

“This is the fourth day in a row she’s here.” Raven piped up from her kneeling position to fix the tap. “Maybe you should finally talk to her, Clarke. Ask what this is about?” She slapped the blonde on her ass who’d turned to her two friends. “No.” She exhaled slowly. She’d told Lexa to stay out of her life and the other won't respect her wishes. The pride in the blonde fought to keep the anger alive over the clear display of caring. Showing Lexa she was more worried about her wellbeing than angry for her disregard, would only open up Pandora's Box. 

# ~~~ 

“Sir, they asked you to leave. I suggest you do just that.” Lexa said in a low, demanding tone. This was the second time she had to step in this afternoon. She was busier by being here than all day on the slopes. She had hoped her attendance had sent out the signal that there were rules to be followed, and any harassment of the bar staff would automatically result in a removal from the igloo and the mountain top vicinity, but nothing had changed so far. 

“And you are?” He slurred squinting at her. 

Lexa smirked before answering. “Someone who can make your life very painful.” 

He turned back to the bar staff and grinned into his drink. “Since when do you guys have a guard dog? She’s adorable.” He clearly didn’t get the memo to shut up and just leave. 

“Last warning.” Lexa ignored the name calling, preparing herself for the action to come in mere seconds. 

To her surprise the drunk lifted his hands and staggered off, throwing a “Fine. Spoilsport.” over his shoulder. She stood rooted to the spot in surprise and a very, very small part of her was disappointed he did what she had asked him to do. She was annoyed by all the entitled prigs. She was also annoyed by the cold shoulder she had received since she started being here regularly. Did she expect a thank you? Did she expect some form of acknowledgment? Yeah, she had, but she knew she shouldn't have. Clarke had asked her to not be in her life, but she had just done what she thought would be helpful. Lexa shrugged the disappointment off and with a short glance to the bar, watching Clarke, glaring at her with a scowl on her face, she nodded and walked back to the entrance of the igloo. She felt unwanted, but at the same time very needed, and nothing in Lexa could bring her to vacate her position and leave Clarke be. 

# ~~~ 

“Hi.” Anya walked slowly from the bar back to Lexa. “How’s it going today?”

“Same, same.” She replied and took the glass of water offered to her eagerly. “Small issues, but who knows what the rest of the afternoon brings.” She shrugged.

“Calm is good.”

“Yaaaaaaah…” Lexa yawned and blushed slightly. “Sorry, meant to say yeah.”

“It’s been a long day, Lexa.”

With all the new snow the risk of avalanches doubled over night. They’d been watching the snow packs every day, but this dawn they had needed to get on top of the mountain to blow up a few snow slabs. Lexa yawned once more and Anya took the glass back out of her hands.

“You look exhausted. Go home Lex.”

“And -”

“I’ll stay and help out if need be.” Anya studied her friend and could see the resolve breaking. “Please.” She added. “Sleep a few hours and if you feel up for it come back later?”

Lexa turned to face the igloo, it was half empty and the atmosphere was relaxed. She studied the scene for a moment before turning back cocking her head to the side. “Tell you what. I’ll be over in the office and lay down on the stretcher. Get me if you need me?”

“We won’t, but yeah promised.” The instructor smiled at the fact that Lexa had taken her advice seriously and nodded in affirmation. With a hardly disguised yawn Lexa finally pushed herself into motion and left the bar.

# ~~~ 

If she had known what would happen only an hour later, she wouldn’t have left. Alas, she hadn’t known and now was not the time to contemplate the past. It was never the time to get lost in decisions she cannot change.

Lexa woke with a jump to the avalanche siren, blaring loudly over her head. She got back into her coat and shoes and left her office as quickly as possible. People were running to get to the cable car station, shepherded by Lexa’s colleagues. Her experiences with the alarm wasn’t great. By the time they sounded it, it was usually too late. She was thankful it was later afternoon mid-week, which usually meant significantly less people. Although her gratefulness morphed into anger when she realised those left will most likely be inebriated.

She grabbed the field glasses she had snatched on her way out and started watching the cliffs around her. She spotted the reason for the alarm. A big slap about 600 feet above their location looked ready to tumble to town. She cursed all dainties she could think of for its existence, but time was of the essence and she started running towards the igloo, guiding patrons into the waiting arms of her team members.

“Lexa!” She turned and spotted Anya a few feet away helping Raven and Octavia onto the snowmobile.

“Anya!” She called back and jogged over. “Where is Clarke?”

“I’m taken the two out of the danger zone now.” She looked over her shoulder for a quick glance at the mountain. “I don’t know where Clarke is.” She turned back to face her friend. “I’ve lost her, Lex. I’m so sorry.”

“Lexa, she was right behind us when we left, but now she’s gone.” Raven yelled at her panicky.

“What?” The brunette screamed the blonde’s name as loudly as she could, but didn’t receive an answer.

“We tried that already. Please, Lexa find her.” Octavia yelled at the other brunette.

“Fuck.” She exclaimed loudly and turned to run back to the igloo, when she was stopped in her tracks.

“Lexa, take the other mobile and follow me. We don’t have any time left. This thing will come down any second. Don’t be stupid now.” Anya begged her friend.

“If Clarke is still here, I’ll find her. I’m not leaving without her.” She answered determined and shook off the grip holding her back. “Go! Now!” She yelled already running towards the ice dome. “I’ll see you later.”

“Fuck you Woods.” Anya growled loudly in frustration. “Stay safe.” She screamed against the sirens and tumult.

“You too.” Lexa hollered back without slowing down or turning back. She only had one thought on her mind, ‘Clarke’.

When she entered the bar it was eerily calm. The thick ice blocks of its construction shielded the inside from the cacophony of chaos from the outside world. She breathed heavily scanning the room when she spotted blonde hair at the other end of the bar and her blood turned to ice.

“Clarke?” She called out, already in motion to get to the woman. She stumbled over her feet when reality caught up with her nightmare. The blonde was indeed still in the igloo helping another woman. “What are you doing?” Lexa yelled at her when she was closer. “You need to get out of here!”

“I’m trying, but I couldn’t let her die in here.” She huffed aggressively, aware of the dire situation she had put herself and now Lexa in. “The fuck did you come back in here anyway?” She screamed at the brunette in fear and terror. This was the last thing Clarke had wanted to happen, when she had returned to check the place for anyone left.

They pulled the woman up who was clearly too drunk to care and maneuvered her through a sea of overturned tables and knocked over chairs. By the time they got to the cable car station a few people were left stranded. The ski lift had stopped moving.

Lexa turned around and watched in horror as the slap broke off and masses of snow moved down the steep side of the mountain. She turned to the small crowd, pushed the drunk woman into their arms and screamed, “GET IN THERE.” pointing to a small room underneath the cable car turntable. It wasn’t big enough for all them, and instead of wasting time she clutched Clarke’s hand and yelled “Run!” pulling her towards the office building a few feet to the left. They made it just in time to jump into the room, but Lexa was unable to close the door as snow pressed through the opening into their space. Windows burst and the building’s structure groaned under the force of the impact.

“Come on.” Lexa dragged Clarke along into the back of the room and down a flight of stairs. “We’ll be safe in here, I hope.” She said after closing a heavy metal door behind them. “This is an old army bunker. We built our station on top of it.” Both slit down along the cold walls and collapsed on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh... Ooooooh... :D


	4. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it peeps. Hope you enjoy the read.

# ~ Part IV ~ 

Silence engulfed them, only their heavy breathing disturbed the lack of sounds. Neither able to speak just yet, both trying to calm down to understand the gravity of their situation.

“Are you ok?” Lexa asked quietly after what felt like hours.

“Am I-?" Clarke stopped herself for a moment, shaking her head. "Why the fuck did you come back?” She asked too loud for the cramped confines they were in and Lexa did a double take at the displayed anger.

“Why… I…” She stuttered in surprise which lasted a nanosecond before it was replaced by irritation. “Why weren’t you with the others?” She returned just as heatedly.

“I wanted to make sure the igloo was empty.” It sounded like a lie.

“Why?” Lexa was truly flabbergasted as to what could possibly make the other return to danger instead of leaving, but Clarke adverted her gaze.

“No no!” Clarke growled. “I asked you first!” She stood up and started pacing. “Why the hell were you in the bar all of a sudden?”

Lexa rose as well, needing to level with the fury in front of her. “I ran into Anya and she told me she didn’t know where you were. I went back to look for you.”

“Why do you keep endangering yourself?” She left out the ‘for me’, but both knew it was implied. The blonde eyed her companion with a mixture of utter frustration and powerlessness.

“I needed to make sure you were ok.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Clarke exhaled exhaustedly, angry for the other to care when she desperately needed to not care. Lexa could have been safe instead of buried under a heavy blanket of snow.

Lexa glared at her in offense. “This is my job.” 

“Well here’s the thing. It’s not, is it?” Clarke spat out. “It’s not your fucking job to run head first into a fucking avalanche Lexa. You, of all people, should have known to get to safety.” 

Lexa straightened her posture at the rage. “I, of all people, saved your fucking life.” She bit back. “What’s your problem? You’ve got a death wish?” Her hands balled into fists at the side of her body, trying, but failing to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

“Thank you.” The blonde growled lowly. She knew Lexa was right, but she was so frustrated with the woman, she couldn’t let go just yet. “You playing bodyguard wasn’t your job though.” She added a moment later glaring at the other.

“Keeping everyone save is my job.” She replied almost in a bored voice. Lexa was fed-up with defending her actions which in her books are noble and thankworthy instead of frowned upon.

“I never wanted you to do that.”

Lexa shook her head. “I don’t care what you want, I see what you need.” 

They stared at each other, despite the severity of their situation, neither was letting go of the bone they were both chewing.

Clarke intensified her glare and pressed angrily through her clenched jaw. “You have nothing I need. I asked you to stay away, so why didn’t you?” She called out once again in exasperation. ”Why, Lexa?” 

The mountain rescuer blinked owlishly at the persistent question she would have thought by now the blonde knew the answer to. She should know why she did what she did. She should be pleased she had been there doing what she was doing. Neither of the three had been abused since she had made an appearance each afternoon. However, instead of showing her bewilderment, she lowered her voice significantly, almost whispering. “Why are you so angry?” She asked softly. “Why wouldn’t you want me to protect you?”

Clarke’s mimic relaxed and Lexa took a step closer to her. They eyed each other warily for a moment, before they started speaking at the same time, answering each other's question. 

“I can’t stand seeing you getting hurt.” 

“I don’t want you to be abused anymore.”

Silence enveloped the two, green eyes darted quickly over blue orbs and vice versa. Clarke was the first to break the spell, stepping back and clearing her throat. “Please, I’m not sure about anything anymore, but I know I don’t want to see you getting beaten up over and over again.” She said indifferently, but the quiver of her lip would have given her true emotion away, had Lexa dared to look at them. 

“I’m not particularly into that either, but I couldn’t leave you alone up here. Not you or Raven or Octavia. This isn’t save for any of you.” The brunette offered quietly as an explanation as well as reason. 

“Why is this so important to you?” Clarke sighed, shaking her head. She needed to know the reason behind the other’s insistence. They weren’t anything to each other, Lexa had made it obvious what she thought of them and her. “Why are we so important to you?” She asked, the anger seeping back into her stance and voice. “Why would you willingly come and put yourself in danger?” She pointed to their surrounding as a prove. 

Lexa’s gaze flickered over the blonde’s face, before she lowered her eyes to the granite floor and shrugged. “I just wanted to help,” was all she was brave enough to say in that moment, but she knew it wouldn’t be good enough. 

Clarke’s eyes follow the downward motion and she sighed. “If you want absolution for what you've done...” She raked her fingers through her mane. “I forgave you and meant it.” 

Lexa quickly stopped chaffing her shoe over the bleak surface at the blonde’s words. “I don't need you to tell me again.” She said, irritation returning at the blonde's refusal to simply accept her reasoning. “I know I screwed up and I wasn’t doing it for karma points or soul cleansing.” 

Clarke snorted in disbelief. “People always have ulterior motives. No one ever does anything for nothing.” 

“Well I do.” She countered with a sense of pride.

“I don't believe you.” Clarke pushed on. “I don't believe you're doing this because, all of a sudden, you think I'm a good person. You don't know me, Lexa. So, I keep asking myself what's in it for you?” She was fed up beating around the bush. She wanted to know what motivated Lexa to do this after treating her like shit for so long. Clarke had ignored the gnawing feeling of uncertainty for so long, seeded by the comments of her friends, but this ended now and today. They were stuck in this bunker for an unknown period of time and maybe they won’t make it out at all. For her own sanity, she needed to find out the reason for the change in behaviour in the brunette. “Are we your charity project?”

“What?” Lexa looked at her perplexed. “No.” She scoffed. “I honestly just wanted to help.” 

It was an absurd situation they found themselves in, but instead of making each other feel comfortable and safe, the blonde kept pushing Lexa’s buttons. “I’m not going to fuck you out of gratitude…”

The words felt like a slap to Lexa and she stared at Clarke for a short moment with wide eyes and utter shock. “I didn’t expect that!” She protested when she found her voice again, an angry glare met blue eyes.

“What is it then?” Clarke stepped closer to Lexa and the brunette took a small step backwards out of reflex. The blonde eyed her warily; she had never met another person who would do anything remotely like that without benefitting from it in one way or another. “Why did you do it?” She trapped Lexa between the bunker wall and her body, though still a good few inches apart. “Tell me Lexa. Why? Why. Did. You. Do. It?” 

The brunette's eyes rapidly flickered between Clarke's, gauging her seriousness and sensing the desperation behind the firework of questions. Lexa decided then and there she was done hiding behind flimsy excuses and pathetic explanations. Their circumstances were gloomy at best and if Clarke was so determined to get to the honest bottom of why she was doing it, Lexa would give her that. Before Clarke could ask again, she beat her to it. “I like you, ok?” She revealed in one exhale and bit down on her lips watching Clarke's angry glare morph into a surprised gawk. Instead of stopping she pushed on. “I really, really like you.” She smiled despite her position, but it dropped when she continued. “Everything I did in the past, I did because I hated seeing you getting attention from everyone and their dog. I was fucking jealous.” She revealed with a shaky voice. Giving her insecurities an audience made them sound even more stupid. “I did all that because I couldn’t let you be in potential danger.” Lexa breathed in and out, violently trying to keep it together. “I never did anything for you to fuck me.” She spat out the crude words in disgust. 

Clarke looked dumbfounded at the bombshell dropped on her. She had not expected for the brunette to say that. Lexa did like her all this time? 

She was still breathing heavily whilst Clarke simply stared at her. The moment turned into excruciating seconds without either one saying a word. 

“Right. Ok.” Lexa nodded more to herself than Clarke. “Don’t feel ever forced into anything when it comes to me.” She said through her heartbreak, trying to ensure the other that even now she didn’t expect anything from her. She gently pushed the blonde aside and turned towards the heavy door shielding them from whatever was going on outside. Instead of wondering about what Clarke was making out of her confession and what it could mean, her survivor instincts kicked in, and Lexa carefully felt along the walls for any signs of holes or openings which would indicate they had a little more time, but the bunker was airtight despite its age. She’d never thought this would happen. She’d never calculated the hours they had in the bunker after being trapped inside it.

Clarke’s eyes followed her every step, but she wasn’t focusing on the movements.

 _I like you, ok? I really, really like you._

Clarke blushed a little at the admission and felt butterflies erupt inside of her, before her eyes hardened again. 

_I was fucking jealous._

She couldn't believe Lexa's attitude was really because she was jealous. Was this possible for someone to treat the one they claim to like so appallingly? Clarke shook her head. She was certain she couldn’t have done that to Lexa. Whatever her feelings towards the woman, she prided herself in treating others the way she would like to be treated. Yet, people do react differently and jealousy is one ugly monster able to turn the best intentions into a nightmare.

 _I did all that because I couldn’t see you getting hurt._

This is the only sentence Clarke didn't question at all, as she herself, from the moment Lexa took charge as their security detail, couldn't stand watching the other getting hurt either.

_I never did anything for you to fuck me._

The offense and hurt the words had caused Lexa made Clarke swallow heavily. She hadn’t meant to be so cruel to her, but she couldn’t understand the other and lashing out was her defence mechanism. She sighed quietly at the hopeless situation. Clearly at her wit’s end to how to react, Clarke forced her over-active brain to slow down for the time being. It was easier to avoid sorting through her feelings by remaining in the situation at hand.

“Are we safe in here?” She asked instead of giving a response to the other’s revelation.

Lexa turned around to face her and after a second of hesitation she nodded. “I think so, for now. We don’t have a lot of air supply though.”

“How long?”

“The oxygen level would keep us alive for some hours, but the carbon dioxide is killing us slowly.” They both knew what it meant. “Yeah, no need for sugar coating, Clarke, we have to get out of here.” She turned back to the door and started pulling the handle, but was stopped in her effort almost immediately by a cold hand on top of hers clutching the lever.

“Wait, how do we know we aren’t covered immediately in snow as soon as we open the door?” Clarke’s eyes flickered between Lexa’s. She removed her hand to hold the taller woman’s shoulders in a death grip.

The mountaineer dropped her arms and tried to swallow the lump in her throat unsuccessfully. “We don’t. We have to test our luck today.” She answered honestly, eyes all over the smaller woman’s face in front of her. Regret bubbling up from deep inside her belly. ‘God, if I die today, I wish I had at least tasted her kiss.’ Lexa subconsciously licked her lips at her thoughts. Blue orbs followed the motion.

“What will we do if there is snow outside this door?” Clarke asked worriedly sliding both her hands from Lexa’s shoulders down her arms to link their hands together in a comforting way. Whether she wanted her or not, but Lexa’s admission had broken through some of the walls around her heart and despite her frustration about the stupidity of Lexa’s actions, Clarke needed reassurance and strength from her in their dire situation.

“We’ll open it only a tiny bit and check?” Lexa didn’t know what she was doing. She was so far out of her depth and this gorgeous woman was screwing further with her wits by clutching her hands in a tight graps.

“Are you asking me?”

Lexa couldn’t make up her mind. Yes, she was asking whether Clarke would do the same thing, but also no, she wasn’t asking as this was the only way to clarify if they can get to more air. “I…” The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she was so tense her muscles hurt. “I don’t know what to do.” Lexa admitted after a heartbeat and it sounded uncharacteristically uncertain. Her eyes glanced down to pink lips and up to worried eyes. Lexa swayed on the spot tentative of her next words. She cleared her throat and with a slight shook of her head to get rid of the haze she said hoarsely. “I think we need to open the door to assess our position and make a plan to get to safety.”

Clarke watched her carefully. “Ok.” She eventually agreed despite her worry it could be a mistake to open the door. At the end of the day, Lexa was someone who knew a lot about snow and mountains and she needed to trust her.

“Ok.” Though, instead of reacting she just kept staring at Clarke, mouth slightly open and her thoughts legible as never before.

After a few more seconds, Clarke pointed to the door. “Do it.” She said and stepped away from the other. The movement woke Lexa out of a trance and she turned back towards the entrance of the bunker once more. She signalled to be quiet, before putting her ear against the metal and stopped breathing. Clarke watched her and held her breath too when Lexa did.

“I can’t make out any sound. Could mean these doors are really thick…” She grimaced. “…or there isn’t any movement on the other side. It’s either a compact snow wall against this barrier or just a bit or nothing at all.” She mused out loud and turned to face Clarke. “I suppose if there’s snow pressing against the walls and door it would have compacted to a degree of not collapsing on us too easily. It should be fairly tightly packed.” She went on.

“You could have said that earlier.” Clarke mumbled and stepped behind Lexa.

“I’m not sure. I’m guessing.” The brunette pointed out. “Are you ready?”

Clarke swallowed emptily. “As ready as I can be.”

Lexa smiled at her for a moment, before she turned around and slowly pushed her weight against the latch of the thick metal flap separating them from the potential nightmare on the other side. She groaned at the effort and pushed her weight against it to make sure she wouldn’t open it too far. A small slit was enough to see, the stairwell they had been running down was completely covered in snow, but it had stopped before reaching the bunker entrance. Lexa stepped back and gestured for Clarke to take a peek, before deciding it wouldn’t cause them any danger opening the bunker fully.

“Well, that’s not so bad I guess.”

“Do you have a shovel?”

“I have hands.”

Clarke’s face fell when she looked at her companion. “You can’t be serious Lexa. You’ll frostbite your hands if you try digging us free. The stairs have at least eight steps- ”

“Ten.”

She glared at her. “- and even if you can do it, how far was it through the room to the entrance of your office?” She continued breathing heavily. “Not to forget, you don’t even know if there’s a building above us. It could all be snow. This could be feet upon feet of cold, wet and heavy snow.” She pointed to the wall of white in front of them.

“Clarke, if we wait without at least trying to free us we’ll for sure die if no one comes to our help.” She took the blonde’s hands and squeezed them gently before putting them together in a praying gesture blowing warm air onto them. “At the moment we have enough air and we can suck the snow to keep hydrated, but this won’t last us long. We need to get out of here. We need warm and dry clothing rather soon. Not to forget we’d need food at some point.”

“We can live for three weeks without food.” Clarke offered matter-off-factly.

Lexa smiled sceptically at her. “If you say so. I don’t want to test that theory though.”

“Maybe we can call someone? Let them know where we are?”

Lexa took out her mobile. “No signal. Nothing. The bunker is tight and the snow is shielding us too.” She said with a sad face. She suspected before Clarke had proposed it that they wouldn’t be able to use a phone.

“Fuck.” She let out frustrated. “Let’s wait another hour and see if someone comes looking for us?” Clarke begged her with desperation in her voice. “Please.” She added for good measure, but Lexa was already a gay mess at seeing the despair and worry in the blonde’s eyes. She would agree to anything to make her feel better.

“Alright. In the meantime, let me see if I can find anything I could use to dig us out of here.” She offered.

“Thank you.” Clarke sighed in relief.

“If no one comes I will start once the hour has passed.” Lexa persisted on driving her point home.

“Fair enough.” The blonde nodded. “I’ll help you then.”

They inspected the small landing between the flight of stairs and the entrance of the bunker for anything they could use. They found a broom and a dustpan under the steps, as well as an old office chair and a bag of salt.

“We could sprinkle the salt onto the snow to melt our way out.” Clarke suggested with an optimistic smile.

“Um, this bag probably lasts halfway up one step.” Lexa paused. “It’s here for test purposes.” She explains apologetically.

“Right.” The blonde slumped down against the wall and curled her legs up to keep warm.

Lexa watched her for a moment. She needed to give Clarke a prospect and take her mind off. “This isn’t a hopeless situation.” She crouched down, balancing on the ball of her feet, hands on top of Clarke’s knees. “I’ll get us out of here.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m not, but I trust myself to not give up until you’re save.” She said and settled against the opposite wall of the blonde.

“Until **we’re** save.”

“Until we’re save.”

An hour was a long time if you had nothing to keep your mind occupied. They glanced at each other before quickly averting their gazes to the ground. After the fifth time Clarke sighed loudly. “Wanna play 20 questions?”

Lexa looked up. “You want to play 20 questions?” She repeated in disbelief.

“Well, you dropped a bomb on me earlier and I’d like to learn more about you and give you a chance to learn more about me. Maybe by the end you’ll see your heroism was misplaced.”

“I doubt that.” Lexa mumbled to herself and then in a louder voice for Clarke she agreed to play. She had no other ideas to pass the time.

“Ok, I’ll go first. What’s Lexa short for?”

“Alexandra.”

“How apt.” Clarke smiled and Lexa looked at her questioningly. “You don’t know the meaning of your name?”

“Of course I do, I’m surprised you do.”

“It’s well known information it means ‘to defend and protect’.” Clarke shrugged at Lexa’s surprise.

“My turn.” The brunette said after a moment. “Where does **your** name come from?”

The blonde groaned. “Should have seen that question coming.” She drawled playfully. “Apparently there are a couple of Clarke’s out there my parents felt the need to dedicate their daughter to.” At Lexa’s blank stare, she continued. “Clarke Abel, a British surgeon and Clarke Carlisle, a British footballer.”

“And here I was thinking how modern your folks were naming you after Superman’s alter ego.” Lexa joked laughing at the blonde’s roll of eyes in response to her silliness.

“You wouldn’t be the first and surely not the last with that assumption.” She added to her gesture with a smile. “Next question, what was your favourite childhood toy?”

“Oh…” Lexa shook her head. Her childhood was usually off topic and she only reluctantly talked about. “I didn’t have many toys.” She offered a moment later and then added. “My parents died when I was young and I grew up with my father’s brother. He didn’t believe in age appropriate playthings.”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry Lexa. I didn’t mean to pry.” Clarke looked crestfallen at Lexa, but the brunette smiled softly at her.

“Don’t worry. It’s been a while.”

“Still, I’m sorry for your loss.” Clarke swallowed. “I lost my dad when I was 18.”

“That sucks.” Lexa offered and because they were in the same boat, the blonde just smiled and nodded at her words.

“Yeah, it does a lot.”

“Do you believe in guardian angels?” Lexa asked after a moment of silence, nervously wringing her hands in her lap.

Clarke regarded at her with an intense look before she nodded. “I do.”

“Me too.” Lexa nodded with a small smile. “We’ll be fine Clarke.”

“Ok.” She smiled at the simple statement and whether it was true or not it made her feel a little better. “Ask me another question?”

Lexa pursed her lips in concentration. “Ok. What are your secret skills?”

“I don’t have any.” Clarke was quick to answer.

“Well, I beg to differ.” The brunette shot her a look. “Let me rephrase then. What are you doing with Mrs Moore?” It had bugged her to no end that no one was willing to tell her the story.

“Oh!” Clarke smiled. “I’m painting what she remembers.” Lexa stayed silent prompting her to continue. “It started after the first year. Mrs Moore invited us for coffee and cake and I went to her house and her walls were painfully bare of any pictures. I asked her about it and she told me she doesn’t have any pictures because they had all gotten destroyed in a house fire.”

She agreed with a nod to Lexa’s “That’s so sad.”

“Anyway, I asked if she had recollections of what the pictures looked like or just memories of her past and when she confirmed, I offered to paint them for her.” She shrugged to underline the simplicity of her action.

“Hold on!” Lexa exclaimed. “All the paintings in her living room? You painted those?”

“Yup.” Clarke replies with a chuckle.

“Wow, that’s crazy. They’re so good.”

“I guess this is partly my fault because I forbid Anya to say anything to you, but the only reason I work at the bar is the generous money we can make. I’m saving up for a gallery. I’m an artist.”

“You…” Lexa blushed furiously. “I’m not sure what to say to that other than I’m so sorry for judging you without knowing anything.”

“Well, I hope you’ve learned your lesson.” Clarke bit back. “Anyway,” she added seconds later “me painting is hardly a secret skill.” She laughed. “What about you? Any hidden talents?”

“None. I even lack common curtesy.”

“You do.” She winked at Lexa playfully. “What is the best part of your personality then?”

“Anya would say loyalty.”

“And what would you say?”

“It’s difficult to think positively about yourself after you’ve been figuratively smashed face first into your worst personality trait.”

“Come on.”

Lexa scratched her neck uncomfortably at the intense stare from Clarke. “I think,” she started slowly, deliberately weighing her words, “I’m nothing but resilient. Not sure if that’s positive, but I quite like to think of me as a strong-willed, reliable person. If I’ve got my mind set on something I will go to a great length to see it through.”

“I can vouch for that.” Clarke agreed with an amused, cheeky grin.

Lexa blushed and lowered her head. “And is that a good thing?” She asked unsurely.

“I have interpreted it rather negatively, but in general it’s probably a good thing.”

“Ok.” She grinned and stage wiped her forehead off non-existing sweat. “Phew.”

“What else would you like to know about me, Lexa?”

She wasn’t sure if she was hearing things in Clarke’s question or her hope was playing tricks on her. She felt like being flirted with. Was she? She could ask her how she felt about Lexa, about her earlier confession, but she didn’t need confirmation of what she already knew due to the silence earlier. Nevertheless, she prodded. “When looking for a someone, what three things are most important besides looks?”

“What makes you think I find looks important at all?”

“Oh please.” Lexa huffed. “Are you seriously telling me they can be…,” she searched for the proper word, but settled on “ugly,” grimacing at her lack of tact, “and you’d still be interested in an intimate relationship?” At the raised eyebrow on the blonde’s face, Lexa continued digging her grave. “I mean, I’m not saying I only go for looks, but I do have to feel attraction towards them to be interested to learn more about them.” Was it warmer all of a sudden? Lexa wondered if she could melt them free in seconds with the heat she felt creeping up her neck.

“So you would give them your time of day, if you want to sleep with them?” Clarke’s gaze was amused at the obvious discomfort of the other.

Lexa cleared her throat uncomfortably. “In terms of a possible intimate relationship, yes.” Why did she feel like being interrogated?

Clarke didn’t respond to her for another few seconds instead letting the words hang between them. According to Lexa’s theory she wasn’t interested in Clarke at all. She didn’t give her even the smallest chance of positive interaction. Yet, her confession stated the opposite. Instead of bringing it up Clarke decided to not poke the bear and nodded.

“I guess the visual appearance is playing a factor. I just don’t like the common depiction of beauty to be taken as the standard to measure anyone against. Beauty comes in many different forms.”

“True.” Lexa waited for Clarke to finally answer her question. When nothing came out of the blonde’s mouth she cocked her head and smiled. “Is there a reason you’re avoiding answering?”

Clarke blushed slightly. “No.” She said hesitantly. “Three important things I look for in someone I’d date?” She repeated the content out loud.

Before the artist could find characteristics which didn’t sound like she was describing the mountaineer in front of her a phone started ringing. “Oh…” Lexa exclaimed quitting the alarm on her mobile. “That was an hour. Saved by the bell I guess.” ‘Maybe it is a good thing not to hear what Clarke wants and I cannot provide,’ Lexa thought when she stood up and turned towards the mountain of white crystals seemingly compressed to the degree of an impenetrable wall..

“Lucky me.” Clarke released the breath she had been holding hoping Lexa wouldn’t force her to answer. Except for her behaviour towards the bartender the brunette ticked quite a lot of the boxes on the blonde’s potential lover’s list. She was kind to everyone else especially older people, passionate about her job, very caring, extremely good looking, and as Anya would have said loyal. If only… Clarke sighed again. Now that the behaviour had turned 180 degrees, there was nothing but the hurt over the previous treatment holding her back.

Lexa, sensitive to the sounds of her, stiffened at the sigh. The blonde must be annoyed by her, she concluded. Instead of getting more and more upset about the hopeless situation she had maneuvered herself in, Lexa focused on inspecting the snow. She lifted her hand and softly caressed the outmost layer. “This isn’t very tightly packed. Maybe we haven’t been hit by the centre of the avalanche.” She mused more to herself than for Clarke’s benefit, surprise evident in her tone. “We’ll probably have to deal with it collapsing as soon as we start digging, as that would instable the rest.” She continued in a serious way. “I have no clue how much snow had come down, but seeing as this isn’t too densely stacked the weight on top can’t be too heavy. I can only estimate the amount, but -”

“Do you think it’s safe for us to dig?” Clarke interrupted her monologue. She was closer than Lexa had anticipated. “If it collapses the snow might start moving again and we’ll have a mini avalanche right here. Or it could cover you.” The blonde worried her bottom lip between her teeth and it took more willpower than Lexa would have thought having to not free it with her own lips and soothe the clear worry in the blonde’s features.

“I’m confident it’s safe.” She smiled warmly, positive her message has been received. “If the snow starts moving, I’ll react in accordance. Have you ever helped building the igloo you’re working in?”

# ~~~ 

The village was in high alert after the avalanche had missed it by just a few hundred yards. The major problems had been caused by the side waves of loose snow which had covered every surface with about 5 feet of wet whiteness.

“We need to get back up there. Lexa and one igloo staff are missing.” Anya grouped her colleagues together to form a rescue team. “A few others have been reported missing, but we’ve been informed they’re ok and waiting for the cable car to bring them down.”

“We’ll help. Clarke is our friend.” Octavia and Raven stepped up to her with determination in their eyes.

Anya’s fiery glance softened. “Please don’t. I promise I’ll find her too, but please stay safe and sound in the village.” She reasoned with Raven.

“What if you can’t find her?”

“You being up there won’t change that, but I’m confident we will.” She pulled her into a tight hug, caressing her back. “We had worse catastrophes.”

“You think they’re ok?” Raven whispered into the blonde’s neck.

“Lexa knows what to do.”

“What makes you think they’re together?” Octavia asked worriedly.

“Lexa went back to the igloo. There is no other logical place where Blondie could have gone.”

“God I really hope they’re alright.”

“Here.” Anya handed a walkie-talkie to Raven. “Channel 9 is the emergency one. Stay on that one and you’ll be informed immediately whatever happens.” She kissed her softly. “Don’t worry too much. I’ll find her.”

“Ok.” Raven let go of her and watched the group of mountaineers and volunteer police force make their path back up Mount Weather. Soon it would be dark and they had to hurry up if they wanted to find anyone before.

# ~~~ 

Clarke shook her head; Lexa’s soft reassuring voice settled some of her anxiety. “It was always ready when we arrived.”

“In order for snow to be stable you obviously compress it as much as possible. It’s like building a snowball. Naturally, snow is loose and falls apart, but once you put it in your hands and press it together you erase the space between the snowflakes and they melt together. It’ll be compact enough to be formed into a ball or whatever shape you want it to be.”

“You want to make snowballs out of that?” Clarke pointed to the never-ending amount of white behind them and looked as doubting as she sounded and Lexa snorted at the idea.

“No.” She pressed through her smile. She didn’t want to sound like she was making fun of the distressed girl. “I don’t want to make a million snowballs,” she shook her head, before she continued, “but I’m going to condense the sides as I dig in. Trust me on this, please?”

Clarke eyed her carefully. She knew, Lexa wouldn’t risk it. Wouldn’t play hero if it meant putting them in a disastrous situation. “Yeah.” She eventually settled on and the brunettes face lit up light a Christmas tree. “I trust you.”

“Then let me do this.” Lexa lifted her arms to support her statement holding up the dustpan in the process.

‘Please be careful. I need you to be careful.’ Clarke thought and breathed through her anxiety and let the air slowly out of her nose. “How can I help you?” She settled on instead as she knew, Lexa was aware she was afraid. There was nothing the brunette could do to ease her mind and she didn’t want to prevent her from doing her job.

Lexa nodded thankfully at that and turned towards the wall of white cold. “Right. Let’s get out of here then.”

Surprisingly, it didn’t take them too long to carve a tunnel halfway up the stairs as they both dug and shovelled snow out of their way. They were sweating profusely and cursing a lot whenever their afford was in vein as the freshly freed inch would be covered again in snow, but slowly and surely they made their path.

“You ok?” The paramedic asked when they paused to catch their breaths. Clarke was cowered behind her with her hands around her knees, shivering plentifully and teeth chattering violently.

“I’m cold.” She stated needlessly.

“If you don’t mind being really close...” Lexa trailed off and opened her thick jacket and Clarke didn’t waste any precious heat and climbed onto her lab sideways and into Lexa’s hug covering her with her coat and wrapping her into her warmth. They sat for a moment with Clarke burying her face into the crook of Lexa’s neck. She sighed blissfully a second later. Lexa knew from her paramedic training that sharing their body heat is very effective, so she wasn’t surprised to hear Clarke sigh. “That’s so much better.” The blonde exclaimed.

“Yeah?” She pulled her even closer happy to have her tightly wrapped in her arms.

Clarke nodded burying her cold face further into the crook of Lexa’s neck. “How come you’re so warm?”

She shivered at the cold skin against her neck. “Always been hot.” She answered distractedly.

Unbeknownst to the human heater, Clarke blushed at her comment.

“We should continue. It’ll be dark soon. We need to get out and find proper shelter.” Lexa continued when she got no response from the bundle on her lap.

With a whine, Clarke succumbed to reality and clambered back down from her. Both closed their coats tightly and started digging in silence. After another half an hour they reached the top of the stairs. Lexa stretched her arm above her head and poked through the snow, but as far as she could reach she felt the cold crystals surround her limb.

“There is at least another two or three feet of snow above us, maybe more.” She figured pulling her arm out of the mass. “This will take longer than I hoped.” She turned to face Clarke, worry written all over her face.

“Do you -” Clarke started, but was interrupted by the brunette.

“Shhh.” Lexa softly covered Clarke’s mouth and indicated for her to be silent. They watched each other and listened out and that’s when they heard faint voices calling their names. Blue eyes grew bigger and green orbs lightened up in relief and without a second wasted they started yelling back.

“ **We’re here**.”

“ **Hello**.”

“Clarke, can you get the broom from underneath the stairs?”

The blonde nodded and scrambled back down, jumping over every other step to hurry up. She returned moments later and Lexa used the thin end of the broom to poke through the snow layers to indicate their exact whereabouts. She could only hope it was long enough.

“ **There**.” They heard the voice again and Lexa was sure it was Anya. She felt the broom being pushed back and removed it looking up through the small hole it had left seeing her best friend grinning in relief at her.

“Are you ok?” She asked her.

“Me? Lexa you’ve been buried by a feet of snow and you ask me if I’m ok?” Anya exhaled loudly. “You’re fucking unbelievable.”

“Well, are you?”

“Yes, fuck yes I am. Are you?”

“I’m ok.” Lexa glanced at Clarke who was out of sight. “We’re ok.” She amended.

“We?” Anya’s eyes widened hopefully. “Did you find her?”

Lexa nodded and laughed at Anya’s “Oh thank fuck.” The relief in her voice was palpable. Clarke leaned closer to Lexa and managed to look up as well.

“I’m good Anya, bit cold but ok.”

“Right.” The woman a few feet above them nodded with a big grin. “I see. Lexa you should have kept her warm.”

“Ahn…” Lexa groaned knowing the tease was coming with 100 miles an hour. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Ok.” She was still grinning, but looked away after her name was yelled from further away. She agreed to whoever was talking to her before glancing down again. “Lex, we need you guys to get back into the bunker, we come with a digger to move the snow.” 

# ~~~ 

“Really?”

It was a rare occasion that Clarke experienced her friends being speechless. She shrugged. Looking back and telling the story of their entrapment and subsequent rescue felt like she was narrating a movie. She felt removed from it as if she hadn’t been there. She wondered how Lexa was fairing with it.

“What happened then?” Raven asked while Octavia kept sitting in silence staring at Clarke.

“We got back into the bunker as told and I don’t know how long later, but eventually Anya lowered some harnesses through a wider hole and then we were pulled out. Apparently they decided against moving the snow because of the unknown state of rest of the station.”

“Did you know there was only half of the building left?”

“Lexa had mentioned the possibility, but I didn’t really want to think about it.” Clarke sipped her tea and silence engulfed the women even though they were sat in the village pub. The roads had been closed ever since the avalanche and the Search and Rescue Team had been out securing the village the moment they had found everyone and brought them down from Mount Weather. Clarke hadn’t seen Lexa since separating a couple hours ago. It was late night outside now.

“Speaking of, how is Lexa?”

“Last I’ve seen her she was doing ok. Yelling orders to the team as if she hadn’t been trapped at all.” She turned to her other friend who still hadn’t said a word. “O, are you alright?” Instead of an answer the smaller brunette slid over and wrapped her arms around Clarke mumbling incoherently into the blonde’s shoulder. “What was that?” She softly pushed her back into a seating position.

“I’m so fucking glad you’re alive.” Octavia repeated her words and discreetly wiped a tear away.

“So am I.” Clarke agreed. “So am I.”

They sat again in silence for a moment, when the door to the bar opened and more people pushed into the establishment. Clarke caught side of Lexa and watched the whole S&R team sink exhaustedly into a big booth.

Raven and Octavia exchanged a quick glance before tapping Clarke on the shoulder. “So, what did you and Ms ‘I judge people by their cover’ do in the bunker till you were rescued?” Raven asked cheekily, relieved at Anya being back as well. Clarke turned back to her friends upon hearing the question. They wore similar grins on their faces and she was halfway glad they were back to being their teasing selves.

She rolled her eyes before answering in a quiet voice. “Nothing, you guys. We were buried alive under masses of snow. What do you think was on my mind?”

“If she’s a good kisser?” Octavia offered.

“Or the fact that you wanted to jump her bones for the majority of the last three years and now you might never get the chance cos life is running out of chances?” Raven added.

She blushed furiously. “Seriously? Why would that be of importance when you try to find a way to stay alive?”

“Nope Griffin.” Both girls shook their heads vehemently. “Spill the tea or we go and ask Lexa.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at her friend’s insistence, but with a shake of her head she eventually answered. “Well, looks like being locked into a small room shouldn’t have been swiped off my do list too quickly. She said that she really liked me.”

“I knew it! Girl, you owe me 20!” Raven exclaimed loudly slapping Octavia on the back.

“What do you mean with that Raven? You guys bet on that?” 

“Well, Anya brought it up one night about a year ago. We thought it was fun.” The brunette shrugged guiltily, but signalled to Octavia to pay up. 

“How did everyone see this, but me?” Clarke laughed slightly.

“Well, I think you've been so hurt by her behaviour because you had the hots for her that you didn't see it? Also, Anya has intel. She knows her the longest and she kept telling you. So did we by the way.” 

Clarke looked down at her hands. “Yeah... whatever.” She deflected Raven's words. “What the hell am I doing now?” 

“What do you want to do?” Octavia asked unhelpfully.

“If I knew I wouldn't ask, would I?” 

The smaller brunette bristled. “No need to go ballistic on us, princess. Do you still like Lexa like that or at all?” 

“I...” She thought back to their conversations in the bunker and how she now knew a little more about the other. Raven looked at Octavia with a pointed stare, but the other simply shrugged helplessly. “Let's be honest here for a minute Griff.” Raven turned back to her friend. “You're with your besties. No one is judging you.” 

Clarke looked up at that. “Fine.” She downed her drink and coughed at the effect of the alcohol. “I still think she's fucking hot, but I've been burned by her acid personality and I don't want to catch fire again in case everything she told me has been due to the fever of survival.” 

“Wow, way too many temperature related references. Straight talk.” Raven sighed. 

“What do you want me to say.” Clarke huffed. “She's a gorgeous asshole and I can’t stop thinking about her.” 

“Nothing against the asshole comment, but did you know that Lexa actually dropped her hours to be in the bar?”

“What do you mean?” Clarke looked at her quizzically. 

“She reduced from working fulltime which gave her another hour to be there each afternoon before her shift would have ended anyway.”

“She didn’t tell you? Not even in the bunker?”

Clarke just shook her head. Why hadn’t she? “I need to talk to her, I think.” She stood up and grabbed her coat before walking over to the round table of men and women discussing loudly the events of the day.

“Hi.” She said bashfully once she was close enough. “Do you have a minute. I’d like to talk to you.” She looked at Lexa and waited for her reaction. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Anya pushing the brunette into action.

“Um, yeah sure.” Lexa finally stood up and stumbled over her boots, hastily trying to take her jacket off the back of her chair. “See you later.” She called over her shoulder to Anya who had vacated her chair to make her way over to Raven and Octavia.

They awkwardly walked down the empty streets of the village when Clarke spoke up. “Thank you for everything today.”

“Please. Don’t thank me for that.”

The blonde sighed loudly. “Can you just accept my gratitude for once, Lexa?”

“You’re welcome.” The taller woman answered instead and Clarke laughed quietly.

“So what else happened? You guys were gone a while?” She asked easily making smalltalk until she could find the courage to say what she wanted Lexa to know. They meandered seemingly aimlessly through the calm streets of the small village with Lexa explaining what had occupied her.

“I don’t want to come onto you or anything,” the paramedic said after a moment of silence, “we’re like around the corner of my place. Fancy a hot drink? I think we’ve been out in the cold long enough.”

“Ok.” Clarke replies nervously. Until this very moment the blonde has been thinking hard how to tell Lexa what was on her mind. Maybe it was easier sitting down with a hot drink. They entered the small house quietly and Lexa went on to boil the water in the kettle whilst Clarke settled on the couch.

“You guys don’t believe in art work on your walls, do you?” Clarke teased after she had a good look around the small but comfortable living room.

“Honestly, I haven’t seen anything I like to buy and I’m not aware Anya is bothered.” Came the answer from the kitchen. The artist nodded and smiled up when a steaming cup was set in front of her. She watched Lexa sit down nervously on the far end of the couch giving her enough space. Clarke smiled at her consideration. “Thank you.” She tried the tea after another moment to distract herself from the nerves. She sat down her mug, breathed in deeply and then looked up to the other occupant of the couch. “Lexa, I’d like to offer you something, if that’s ok?” The other swallowed her sip slowly and gestured for her to go on. ‘Here goes nothing’, they thought simultaneously. “Can I first ask if you meant it?” The blonde bit her lip. “What you said earlier? In the bunker?” She clarified at the lost look on Lexa’s face. The brunette’s eyes zoomed in on the innocent, insecure gesture and she felt the anxiety ebb away. “Every word.” She whispered finding blue eyes studying her intently. Clarke managed a small smile. “In that case, I wanted to tell you that I…” She cleared her throat nervously, knitting her hands together. “I really like you too.” She revealed in a hoarse voice and before losing her momentum she soldiered on. “Have done from the beginning.” She finally admitted and Lexa looked at her in disbelief, but the corners of her mouth lifted marginally. “But…” Clarke pushed on watching the soft smile adorning Lexa’s face fade slightly. “You really hurt me the way you treated me -”

“I’m so sorry.” She interrupted her. “I understand your reservation and hesitancy towards me.” She knew the moment she had learned more things about the blonde she had screwed up big times.

“You do?” Clarke was surprised forgetting what she had wanted to say in the first place. She would have expected Lexa to argue her case now that she knew her feelings were reciprocated. After Lexa had started to open up and be honest about her true intentions, Clarke saw the beautiful person behind the jerk. Anya had been right. The mountaineer was worth not giving up on.

“Yes Clarke. I do and words fail me to make you understand how incredibly sorry I am. I can’t undo what I have done, but I can promise to never do it again.”

“That would be a great start.” The blonde acknowledged with a smile.

“A start?” Lexa asked hopeful.

“Yeah.” The smaller woman shrugged. “I thought, we could try to get to know each other past the physical attraction.” They blushed in unison because Clarke’s words rang true. They knew nothing about each other’s lives, dreams, hopes, future ideas. What they liked in each other was purely what they saw. “I think we made a good start today-” she continued, “and I don’t know about you, but I really enjoyed learning things about you despite the icy grave we were locked in.” Clarke found it more and more difficult to remember the hateful Lexa as the brunette in front of her was so very different in so many ways.

“Seriously?” Lexa recovered from her surprise. “You want to hang out with me? Talk to me about your day and worries and let me help you?” She asked with excitement.

“Woah, slow down.” Clarke held up her hands in laughter. “I’d like to learn more about you, but I don’t want you to help me if that means you getting hurt.” She said with more seriousness in her tone.

“You know, that’s kind of a professional risk. I’m always in danger when I’m out there. Giving you a little protection is actually harmless compared to the rest.”

“You’ve got bruises all over your face and hands.”

“They’re fading and I’m not in pain anymore.”

“Lexa, why don’t you let it be? We’ve survived the last three years without a bodyguard, we will this season too.” She huffed picking up her mug to cradle it between her palms.

“Because you don’t have to.” Lexa answered simply. “You being here should be more than just surviving. I want you to be able to enjoy your time in Polis and on Mount Weather if at all possible. I will be there once they’ve rebuild the igloo, because I know they will tomorrow.”

“You won’t be deterred from that?”

“No I’m sorry. If our agreement is based on whether or not I stop being there every afternoon, than I have to decline your offer. This is non-negotiable to me.”

Clarke let her eyes roam the expanse of Lexa’s serious face before she lowered her gaze blushing. “Alright,” she finally agreed, “but don’t cut your hours. We’ll be ok until you can come over without a pay cut.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, wondering for a moment how long the other had known this, but agreed to the conditions nevertheless. It was the best outcome for her need to protect Clarke as well as her need for the blonde in general. “Ok.” She smiled a moment later happy to have Clarke convinced and another one of Clarke’s carefully, painfully erected walls around her heart is collapsing in on itself. ‘Damn that beautiful smile.’

“Ok.” She repeated and they both looked shyly at each other.

“Clarke? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you go back to the igloo instead of down the mountain with Anya and the others?”

“Same reason you went back, I guess.” Clarke smiled bashfully. “I didn’t know where you were and wanted to make sure you’re not there.”

“God.” Lexa shook her head and bit her lip. She really had been an idiot.

Clarke chuckled, and as if she could read her mind, pointed out, “You’ve got a second chance.” Lexa beamed back at her unsurely of her next steps when the bells of a distant church rang through the silence of the night announcing the arrival of a new day. “Oh,” Clarke looked at her watch in surprise, “I better get going. I’m sure you’ve got an early start and all.”

“Um, yeah, but you don’t have to run.” Lexa stammered after the retreating form, following her a moment later to the door.

“No, I wanted to clear the air, which I have, and I don’t want to impose.”

Lexa leaned against the door frame, picking up her guest’s winter jacket. “You didn’t.” Her voice was so soft, Clarke stopped in her pursuit to lace her boots and looked up in surprise. Neither broke the connection for a couple of seconds. “You never could.” Lexa whispered and Clarke fell out of the trance the green eyes have put her in and straightened up. If she had had difficulties to remain collected at the time when she and Lexa weren’t seeing things eye to eye, she was now nearly collapsing from a racing heart, beating as loud as thunder in her ears. She didn’t fight the invisible pull towards the other.

“Neither could you.”

Whether the whole conversation made sense or not was lost on either of them as everything around had vanished and they had only eyes for each other.

“I was wondering…” Lexa murmured, but hesitated when she saw Clarke stepping even closer to her, the blonde’s jacket hanging uselessly in her hands.

Clarke looked at her and bit her lip before wrapping her arms around her neck pulling her closer, whispering in the brunette’s ear. “Unless your next words are ‘you were wondering how my lips taste’, I’m not patient enough to hear them.”

“Oh.” Lexa swallowed harshly. “You don’t have to…” She trailed off and shrugged awkwardly. “I’m not expecting you to.” She added almost as an afterthought still mesmerized by the intense blue stare.

Clarke smiled softly. “What if I want to kiss you because I really would like to kiss you? Not because of any other reason, but the fact that you’ve shown me your heart and I like what I see.”

“I would say this very conveniently coincident with me really wanting to kiss you too.” Lexa jostled a little in Clarke’s embrace, dropped the coat over the back of the couch and carefully placed her arms around the blonde’s hips. She bobbed her nose on Clarke’s before moving it over a warm cheek inhaling the scent of the soft skin. She locked her eyes with the woman in her arms. “Are you sure -” Lexa started, but a finger over her mouth stopped the words from tumbling out of her. Clarke replaced her index finger with her thumb, softly stroking the lips under it and moved it to caress the brunette’s cheek. “Shut up and kiss me already Lexa.” She said with a smirk, which was washed off her face the second Lexa’s lips touched hers in the most sensual and slowest way she had ever been kissed. This kiss rocked her world. The feeling was overwhelming, simply mind-blowing. It only got better, when she teased Lexa with the tip of her tongue and in response was sucked into a warm mouth.

“Fuck.” Lexa breathed against moist lips, when their mouths parted an inch. This had been by far the best first kiss.

Clarke put her fingers on her lips trying to ground herself when a horrific thought crossed her mind. “If you hurt me again -”

“I won’t.” Lexa interrupted her. “Never intentionally. I swear to be honest and not assume and talk to you openly and honestly.” She took her fingers in her hand, pulled them down and kissed her again deeply, before stepping out of Clarke’s reach to give her space. She watched her intently. The blonde’s eyes flittered between Lexa’s and she witnessed the message sinking into her brain and being mulled over. Eventually, Clarke nodded. “I meant it when I said I trust you. I just have to remind myself once in a while.”

Lexa smiled softly before extending her arms for a hug. “I’ll prove to you every day that your trust in me isn’t misplaced.”

They stand in the tiny hall, bodies pressed into each other and hearts slowly syncing to the same fast beat.

“I should go now.” Clarke repeated after a couple of moments and fished for her jacket.

“When can I take you out on a date?” Lexa asked watching her pulling up the zipper of her coat.

“You know my schedule better than anyone.” Clarke replied cheekily. “Plus, you’ve got my number. Use it.”

# ~Christmas Eve two years later ~ 

“Merry Christmas love.”

Lexa turned towards the voice with a beaming smile and quickly closed the door behind herself. “Put your coat on, I’ve got a surprise for you.” She said in lieu of returning the sentiment.

“Oh?” Clarke furrowed her brows, but did as told and put her shoes on. “You remember the girls are coming over for the Christmas eve dinner in two hours and your turkey went in the oven an hour ago as instructed.” She huffed out in a strained voice, focused on quickly getting dressed for the winter.

“I do, I do, but I want to give you your gift now.”

“Why can’t it wait till tomorrow?” The blonde asked confused. “Last year you’ve been adamant to stick to the Christmas rules.” She teased.

Lexa huffed. “Well last year I didn’t manage to gift you what I can now.” The brunette answered cryptically. “Come on.” She extended her hand and pulled Clarke into her arms. “Merry Christmas my heart.” She whispered.

They pulled the door close to the small cottage they had moved in this summer. Clarke was living permanently in Polis and painted and sold her creations to tourists. It took her a year to get used to the idea, but eventually Raven and Octavia pushed her out of their shared home a few hours away to live with Lexa and fulfil her dream.

“Where do you take me?” Clarke asked curiously snuggling into Lexa’s side to avoid the frost nipping at her face.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you now, would it?” She teased and stopped them to kiss her. Even after almost two years of being in a relationship with Clarke, Lexa hadn’t gotten tired of kissing her whenever she could. “Be patient sweetheart. It’s just around the corner.”

They walked along Main Street. The village had grown over the past years to accommodate the numbers of tourists throughout the seasons. New hotels and guest houses had popped up as well as cottages and stores. Lexa stopped them at the corner of a sideroad and pulled her girlfriend into the small alley. “I know the main entrance is a little hidden, but I’ve talked to Gustus and he doesn’t see a problem with putting up a sign on Main Street.” She said with a smile.

“I’m sure you’re right, but I still don’t know what’s going on.” Clarke breathed impatiently.

Lexa laughed at her, but nodded towards a door. “Here.” She said instead of an explanation, handing her a key. “Open it.”

Clarke stared at the metal in her palm with wide eyes. “Lex.” She whispered, but slowly pushed the key into the lock of the dark oak entrance and they stemmed the door open with ease. It revealed an empty space, light fittings along the ceilings highlighted the area. “Lex?” The blonde repeated unsure of what she was looking at.

“This-” the other finally spoke up, “is your gallery.”

“My-” Clarke turned towards her lover and repeated in a disbelieving tone, “my gallery?”

“Ok.” Lexa pulled her into her arms and moved a stray lock of hair out of the surprised face of the woman she loved with all her heart. “Remember the fateful afternoon when we were trapped in the bunker after the avalanche?” She waited for a confirmation which came in form of a slight nod. “You told me back then that you’ve been saving every penny you earn to buy your own gallery.”

“I did?” She clearly had forgotten what they’ve been talking about that long ago. In the last year Clarke had assured Lexa that she was happy painting in and selling her things from their second bedroom. She hadn’t looked for a space as she was convinced there was none available in this booming mountain village as well as it being way over her budget.

“You did.” Lexa confirmed with a smile. “And ever since I’ve been looking for a place for you.” While she spoke she opened her arms and gestured to the space in front of them. “This my love is yours if you want it. I’ve made the needed payments to secure it, but the rest is up to you.”

“Oh my god.” Clarke finally understood and wrapped her arms tightly around her girlfriend. “You really did that?” Her eyes flitted from green orbs to luscious lips and back. “For me?”

“I love you Clarke.” Lexa said quietly securing the other tightly in her embrace. “I love you so much.”

“I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” She assured her, knowing full well her gift had made the other speechless in a good way.

“God-” she sighed. “I’m so in love with you Lexa. Thank you so -” She kissed her on her left cheek. “- so -” She bobbed her nose along the other’s and kissed her on her right cheek. “Much.” She finally stopped talking and pressed her mouth to plump lips to show Lexa how much she really appreciated her gift. They kissed for a while, soft sounds engulfing them, securing them in their own little world.

“I feel like this is a dream.” Clarke breathed against Lexa’s lips when they parted.

“It isn’t. I promise this is yours. The contract is ready for you to sign if you want.”

“If I want?” Clarke laughed loudly and the sound echoed in the empty area. “Of course I want.” She kissed her again slowly, sensually before stopping abruptly. She leaned her head back and watched Lexa smile at her. “You know what else I want?”

Lexa shock her head, but reacted quickly when Clarke jumped into her arms wrapping her legs around a lithe waist. “You for the rest of my life.”

“You’ve got me, my love.” The brunette sighed. “You always have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing left for me to say, but Happy Christmas or Merry Christmas where ever you come from. Make sure to spend some quality time with the ones you love and don't waste minutes on people who are unworthy.
> 
> Happy New Year 2019. Let's hope it's good one. Cheers, J

**Author's Note:**

> Yay? Nay? Let me know!


End file.
